My Story - part one

If I am honest, I have been ready to tell this story for a few weeks, but I have struggled with how to tell you this story.  I think the lessons I have learned through this story are sometimes drowned out by the serious, frightening logistical details of the story.  My prayer is that through telling it this way, you will see the amazingly powerful Hand of God active and alive in my story.

I read somewhere that even Judas was part of the plan.  God used the betrayal of a friend that led to death on the cross to redeem us, and I have to believe that He uses the very worst of our circumstances to redeem and sanctify us.  We don't get to see His Hand in the moment, but it can become apparent in hindsight.  In the book Esther when the Jewish people were threatened, Mordecai tells Esther that perhaps she was queen "for such a time as this."  God put things into motion long before Esther was even thought of.

 Maybe, just maybe God had aligned things in my life to lead to this place, to share this story with you.  It began with a job relocation - teaching in Smith County.  That's right, teaching.  Can we say dream fulfilled?But with every dream comes sacrifices, namely a 35 minute drive from my home in Jones County.  A new car helped with the gas mileage - it was a Chevy Cruze and beautiful.  I loved my car and my job - I was pretty much a happy Beaty girl.

Next came the wedding - Candace (sister/best buddy/roommate) and Brent (then fiance/now husband/awesome man) were getting married which allowed me  to consider moving closer to my job.  Through Facebook and some helpful hints, I found the cutest little 3 bedroom house right over the Smith county line and an entire 7 minutes from work.  It was perfect - Candace and I made arrangements to move just a month before the wedding.  I was excited to be a country mouse with space after many years in the city in an apartment building with people surrounding you ALL THE TIME. The front yard has one of the most amazing views of the night sky.  Through this time, God began leading me through Psalms.  It felt like He was breathing new life and fresh air and love into my soul.

I felt safe and secure - life was beautiful.

About two weeks into living in my new, super cute, country house, I was home alone on a Thursday night which in and of itself is something of a unicorn.  We usually have Thursday night dinner as a family, but Dad had diabetic class so we moved it to a different night.  Because we had a free night, Candace and Brent were working on their home as the wedding was just weeks away.  A night at home alone to watch TV, relax, regroup was particularly appealing to me.  If you know me at all, you know that I quite enjoy my alone time.

It was this night, at home, alone when all of my safety and securtiy and beauty went straight through the bedroom window.  Coincidentally, it was the same bedroom window that the police believe to be the entry point for the strange man who came into my home with a gun and kidnapped me.  This man became the Judas in my story - it led to the biggest change in my life which felt very much like a death of something. For a long time, I was angry at this man that obliterated my security, and I still have moments of anger when something scares me.  However, these moments don't last long when I return to my plum line of God's word and realize that it was His Hand and His Plan that led me to that moment and brought me safely through.  But that's the next part of this story...

please read!

Holy cow, batman!  It has been one incredibly busy summer - incredibly busy but also incredibly rewarding! Today was our first day back at school, and it is crazy to me that we are looking forward to going back to school so things will slow down!  Who says that?  I know, it's crazy!  But more on school and all the craziness later!  I am afraid I have to get a little serious on you, for just a minute!

Not very long ago, our pastor talked about having confidence in God and in who He created you to be, your calling.  I don't think that is something you earn or work towards, I think it is something you have to tap into. I get that sounds somewhat weird, so let me explain what I am thinking.  2 Timothy 1:7 says that "God has not given us a spirit of timidity (fear), but of power and love and discipline."  That power, love, and discipline are not things that we are born with but are things that we are given through Christ being real and present in our lives!  We have to "renew our minds" as it says in Romans 12 in order to keep that line of communication open and to know the importance of that power source!

But please get this friends, power and love and discipline are not things the devil wants you to tap into.  In fact, he will do everything in his finite power to keep you afraid and discouraged.  Powerless in this battle we call life.  Tonight as I was sitting down to catch you up on the past few weeks, my heart has been heavy because life has been hard.  It was then that I realized exactly what I was feeling.  I was discouraged and afraid - have you ever felt like that?  It is probably one of the worst feelings ever!

I think back to our study on Nehemiah, aptly titled Fear and Discouragement, and Nehemiah's prayer for God to simply "strengthen my hands."  So many things were used to break down Nehemiah and the people of Israel, but Nehemiah never ceased praying or tapping into that power that could only come from God.  So tonight I am so thankful for studies done and for words of encouragement that could only come from Scripture.  It seems to help to know who the enemy is, that the war is won, and that we have the armor to fight the battles.

So as for sharing this quite deep topic.  I was once told that once you know the truth, you are held accountable for what you do with it.  I pray with ALL of my heart and soul that these words reach that soul that perhaps has tears of experience in their eyes at this point.  There is hope!  That power is there for the accessing - in His word.  It is, after all, our only piece of offensive armor given in Ephesians 6.  I also hope that once you know the Truth, you will pass it along!

balance

work and play

family and friends

career and family

God and man

We all have things we balance on a daily basis, and perhaps some are on the list above.  For some of us it seems a little less like an exercise in balance and more like a complicated session of juggling.  We feel as though we must allocate just the right amount of time and energy to the proper persons or activities, but Jesus told Martha in Luke 10 that only one thing is necessary.

 

38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

I am not saying that we are to be lazy or antisocial - notice that Jesus did not chastise Martha for serving.  We have responsibilities and are called to service, but I think sometimes we can get distracted by those that are not serving.  Often we look at the task at hand which at times can be quite daunting, and we begin shifting our eyes to the right and to the left to those who we think could help but aren't.  It is in moments like these that my attitude takes a turn for the foul, and it is all downhill at that point.  Then these verses come to mind - "you are worried about so many things, but only one thing is necessary."  I can hear my Mom and Dad telling me that "you can't worry about what everyone else is doing, you have do what God asks of you."  Another person's actions or inactive state is not the problem - the problem is my attitude which altered when my eyes were not on Jesus and my task.

Mary chose the good part, the one thing that was necessary - sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to His word.  During those times when my attitude needs serious adjustment, I must come back to that necessary part.  Just as we cannot adequately exercise our physical bodies without proper nourishment, we cannot adequately serve our church or our community without sitting at His feet listening to His word.  Sometimes we have to "be still and know that He is God." (Psalm 46:10)  That's a difficult one for me - the being still and knowing that He is God.  In my finite mind I feel as though I have to do everything if it is going to be completed and completed the way and at the time I want it to be.  However, that way of thinking is so very contrary to God and His character which leads to me being stubborn and arguing with God.  I must tell you that never really ends well for me - I just have to choose to let Him have it, to surrender my stubborn heart to Him.  What can I say - work in progress here!  These days I am learning the balance of the following list...

grace and truth

femininity and strength

being still and service

yes and no

food and exercise

thus far...

In 1 Samuel 7, the ark has been returned to the Israelites, the people have repented of their sins, and returned to God.  Upon their return, God defeats their enemy and Samuel places a stone called an Ebenezer as a reminder to the Israelites that "thus far the LORD has helped us."  (1 Sam. 7:12)  I love that it says "thus far" - not that the character of God would change, but it serves as a marker for the people of Israel.  Like the mile marker on the side of the highways, this marker indicates Israel's current position as well as how far they have come.  I think we all need these markers, moments or mementos that remind us where we are and where we have come from, as a place of reference to return to when we falter or when things do not seem to be going as we think they should.

The other thing that is so encouraging to me is that Ebenezer does not mean "thus far I have been perfect" or "thus far I have made it on my own."  No, it is "thus far the LORD has helped us."  The people of Israel failed, they stopped serving the God of their fathers, and they worshiped idols - images that they had created.  Stop before you say that they were crazy for bowing down to some statue - an idol can be anything you put where God should be in your life.  I don't know, maybe that doesn't leave the same punched in the gut feeling with you that it gives me.  Maybe you are perfect and have it all together - this is probably the wrong blog for you as I am nowhere near perfection.

I am so easily distracted which leads to just the slightest drift off course; the only problem with a slight drift is that the longer it goes unchecked, the further you are from where you are supposed to be.  The difference for Israel is that they returned and repented.  We all will have times when we miss the mark - it's what you do afterwards that counts.  Return to God with ALL of your heart and remove distractions, idols, anything that you have replaced God with - those are the instructions to Israel, and those are the instructions to all of us.  These are God's instructions to me.  Return.  Repent.  Have your Ebenezer moment.

"Thus far the Lord has helped us."  Ebenezer is not the completion of the journey.  "Thus far" denotes that we have not yet reached our destination.  From the beginning until now, God has been with us and helped us and provided for us - Ebenezer is simply the marker, reminder of the character of God so that we can deny the distractions and give every piece of our hearts to God on a day-to-day and moment-to-moment basis.

Some days, you just need to return and repent and look at the Ebenezer moments in your life.

silence

Well, the past few days have pretty quiet here on the blog.  I am finding I go through times where I have so much to say that I must write lest the words explode within me while there are times when I have no words.  Needless to say, but I believe we have a case of the latter going on right now.

I have been doing a bit of soul-searching the past few days - revisiting some issues within my own heart that I thought I had dealt with but can't seem to shake.   To be quite frank, I am somewhat frustrated with myself and with my life right now.  I feel like it is perhaps a God-given period of discontentment to push me towards the goals and life He has for me.  I am not even sure if that makes any sense to any of you, but that is where I am.

And, I think it is of vital importance to take stock sporadically of life and directions and goals - to take the time to realign yourself with that which you have made your center.  For me, my center, my focus is Christ and to be more like Him everyday.

One such issue I am working with that I was pointed out to me this morning at church is being more active in the community of believers.  I am never more comfortable than being alone, and don't misunderstand, I know that alone time is important.  It is my time to recharge - I am not naturally gifted with being around people 24/7.  However, my personality should not be an excuse not to engage in the community around me.  We were created for community - our very being is designed to do this thing called life with other people.

So that is one of a few puzzles I am addressing at the moment, and hopefully I might find a few answers for my questions in the coming days.  Until then I am embracing the silence so as not to disrupt it with empty words and phrases that disguise obstacles instead of illuminating resolution.

Until then,

Isaiah

So my latest Bible study has been through the book of Isaiah via a study done by Kay Arthur - if you have not googled her and her studies, do it! Now!  Anyway, other than making my head hurt as I try to wrap my head around Isaiah's words, visions, and "woes," it has completely rocked my world.  It is PACKED with such incredible lessons and insight into our world.  I have loved it even though it has brought new meaning to searching out truth because it has taught me to "wrestle with" information - to dwell on it, to meditate on these truths, and go far deeper into Scripture than I have been in the past.

One piece that has infiltrated my core is the plan for Christ's redemption and just how early it was revealed to God's men and women.  I always knew that God knew that Christ was necessary from the beginning, but to see Him being revealed to the prophets in such clarity is blowing my mind.  I love that Isaiah had visions of the grace that was to come; however, Isaiah himself writes that he weeps at the destruction that would befall Jerusalem prior to Christ coming and at the end of days, he becomes so sick he likens it to labor pains.  I sometimes get caught up in wanting to know the plan - I am comfortable with God being in control of the plan, I just want to know what the plan is. Isaiah knew the hope that would come but he also knew the proceeding events that it would take to get to the day of hope - that's not always a pretty picture. So after reading of Isaiah's agony over knowing everything the plan included, I think I should learn to just be okay with the spotlights and highlights I receive.  That's a big deal for this OCD schedule addict.

Something else that I cherish in this study is the picture of God's character established through out Isaiah.  The last post was about the beautiful tension found in Christ's balance of truth of grace - can I tell you that character trait is so very evident in God our Father through Isaiah's words.  The need for judgement and the "woes" divinely balanced with the plan for redemption along with God's judgement for the sins of Israel paralleled with His incomparable and incessant love for them.  Isaiah 62 has been one of my favorite pieces of Scripture for a long time, and after seeing it in context of all of Isaiah, I love it that much more.  I hope you will read it sometime - it's a beautiful picture of God never giving up on Israel.  I love that He doesn't give up on us - once we are His, we are ALWAYS HIS!

I have so enjoyed my time studying Isaiah even though I left with more headaches more times than I care to admit - there really is nothing like working out Scripture for yourself.  I just thought I would share this with you!
  

fear

"I am afraid."  "I am scared to death."  "(Insert obscenity often screamed out when someone scares you!)"

These are phrases I must admit I hear come out of my own mouth more often that I would like.  Fear or uncertainty is one thing that has been a constant struggle for me for a very long time.  Many things frighten me - severe weather, not falling in love, taking chances, falling in love, the words - "we need to talk," cancer, failure, and the unknown - only to name a few.  As you can see fear is a big part of my life.  I don't think I have ever really liked the fact that I am so easily frightened, but I never really grasped that this might be a big deal to how my life goes and the story of my life for God.

Not until recently that is...

For the past 13ish weeks I have been working on a Bible study named How to Overcome Fear and Discouragement by Kay Arthur - a title I must admit that I really just read and let sink in.  The only thing that really interested me was that it covered the books of Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther.  The nerd in me adored the history involved in those books, but I never would have guessed that this study would penetrate to a level of a deep  stronghold in my life.

These books give a detailed account of the things the enemy will do to keep you afraid and discouraged.  Get this - the devil will go to some extreme lengths to keep you down and inactive.  Gossip, slander, physical threats - even spending money are all tactics.  Right along side of these accounts of the tactics are the detailed accounts of men and women standing confident in their God to do what He has "stirred in their heart" or "put in their heart" to do.  I have read 2 Timothy 1:7 many times, but after doing this study it has really come alive to me -

For God has not given us a  spirit of timidity but of power and love and discipline.

Isn't it amazing - God doesn't want us to be afraid.  He wants to have a spirit of power, love, and discipline.  Now I know that you are wondering where can this girl who has been so very fearful of everything under the sun find a spirit of power, love, and discipline.  Well, God gives us that spirit, and I must admit I am still processing how to receive that spirit on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis.  The past few days have been quite challenging for me on this end as things have not really went the way I want them to go.  In comes the second part of that title - discouragement.  If I am not afraid at the time, then chances are I am discouraged.  Discouragement is something I am so quite familiar with - we are practically family at this point.  That came to play the past few days as well.  I just love hearing that someone thinks I can't handle something, don't you?  But that is exactly how Satan wants us to feel - afraid to take that step of faith and that really we can't do what God expects us to do.    

Fear and discouragement can keep us sidelined - on the bench for too much of the game.  God has a plan and a purpose that He probably put into place decades before we were even thought of, and anytime spent on the bench is time that I and perhaps you are not bringing glory to God.  Now that just makes me angry - not sure if that is the case with you.  Anytime I feel like someone other than God is trying to control me and tell me I can't, I become much more determined to do exactly what it is that God has "put into my heart" and what the skeptics tell me I can't do.

So, I suppose this blog is a reminder for me of the things I have learned and a push to apply these truths in my life.  Each day I must claim the promise that God gives me a spirit of power and love and discipline.  I hope that you do the same, and that we bring glory to God with our lives.

catch my breath

Whew! I feel like I have been running these past couple of weeks at a frantic pace and nothing I need to do is getting done.  However, I am trying to take small breaks where I can and just breathe - it's difficult as I am sure most of you know.  After Christmas, it seems like the second semester starts with all gears going and doesn't stop until you wake up and realize it's time to buy the Thanksgiving Turkey again.  Okay, I digress.  I have been remiss not to share with you some of the things I have been learning lately!

A sweet friend/fellow nerd - Shelly Reid and I have been doing a Bible Study on Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther.  Just let me tell you, it has rocked my world.  As you all know by now, the nerdy things in life and in the Bible just really excite me because sometimes it feels like God has kinda thrown in all these things just for me to try to figure out.  I know that's completely off and self-centered; however, it is nice to learn through all this study that He created me this way and understands how my head works.  Okay back to the point - the things I have learned.  There are so many, and I know I will leave some out but here it goes.

1. God stirs the heart of those He chooses to use to accomplish His goals and plans.  AND as I have found out  that person may not even know that God is the one doing that!  Don't believe me, go check out what Isaiah says about Cyrus! Blew my mind!  Don't miss this - HE STIRS YOUR HEART!  Those things that you just feel like you must do or burst could possibly be God stirring your heart!  Isn't that amazing?  

2.  When, not if, you do these things that God is stirring your heart to do you must know a few things - pray.  The past few weeks we have been in Nehemiah and throughout Nehemiah you find his prayers scattered through.  And it's not grand, lengthy prayers - it's short, one sentence like a breath out of his heart.  Also this is a big one - the enemy will try to stop you!  The enemy may take several forms but it's always the same tactics so know them and know  the Truth!  It will save you quite a bit of heartache!

3.  Oh I can't forget - Nehemiah's stirring is to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  Guess what, we all have walls we need to return to, to rebuild, and to restore (I borrowed that from Shelly).  Your wall effects everything - it's your faith, your prayers, knowing the Truth, everything! If that wall is not in tact then those tactics of the enemy will penetrate and possible cause some destruction.

4.  God has been stirring my heart to do something quite outside my comfort zone and big!  It's in the works as I type and you read, but I can't tell you much right now!  Hopefully I will be sharing more about this in the future!  I would appreciate your prayers!

5.  Finally, my life has been so very blessed doing this one-on-one Bible study.  I encourage you to find someone perhaps older (physically or spiritually or both) to do Bible Study with.  It's amazing how encouraging it is, AND in Titus 2 we are actually commanded to always be learning so that we may be able to teach those who are younger!

So as always I pray this encouraged you and thank you for allowing me to take a breath to organize my thoughts a little bit!  Have a wonderful day!

sanctuary

So the idea of "seeking sanctuary" is one that has fascinated me for many years (I am a nerd, moving on)!  If you are not familiar with this idea, allow me to explain a bit.  "Seeking sanctuary" is the idea of those who are oppressed or persecuted because of political or religious beliefs seeking asylum or sanctuary in a church or a country offering asylum.  Some countries, including our own, still offer asylum or a safe place for those who are refugees, but seeking sanctuary was most prominent in Medieval Europe.  Many churches had a "sanctuary ring" on the doors to be allowed into the church.  I am not exactly sure why this has fascinated me for so long, but I have always felt safe at church and liked the idea of seeking refuge in a safe place.  Now I love old churches - they are just so comforting.  In fact I kind of picture God as an old church sometimes - one that has been in the community for centuries, where the pastor knows your name and entire family history, where the interior is that incredible mix of comfort and awe, and where the hushed sound of a whisper is life-changing.

This morning our pastor talked about anxiety and how to biblically deal with anxiety!  Sometimes I think he must know what I am thinking or what I am dealing with because it hits so close to home.  But I know that is the Holy Spirit speaking through him and God knows me inside out. You should really check out the sermons - they are amazing and you can watch them here.  Anyways, he talked about Paul's exhortation and instructions to the church at Philippi in Philippians 4,  and it rocked my world.  

         ⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. ⁵Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. 

 Rejoice in the Lord always is not something that has come easily to me in the past.  To be really honest I kind of skipped over this part of Philippians 4 because it seemed so cliché and insincere to me because I never thought it was possible to really rejoice in the Lord always.  First of all my idea of rejoice (be happy) is completely wrong, and also my idea of God and His character was little.  A few years ago, I found myself without a teaching job and without anything else to tell me who I was.  I was lost.  I was disappointed with God and my faith.  I thought I had done something wrong in the formula of me + follow rules = God adhering to my plan and needed to start over.  I had no idea where to go next.  But in the midst of my pain and grief there came a quiet voice saying “be still.”  So I began to listen and out of the stillness came love and grace.  The God of the Universe was pursuing me and wanted me to know Him and His character.  He wanted to be my everything.  So I began with getting to know Him – Kay Arthur’s study of God’s names will rock your world – I am proof.  And through knowing God, I learned how to worship God where I am, to align my plan with His, and to find joy in His presence even when things are not going my way.

This idea of finding sanctuary in a church – the church would be a refuge, a safe place for those who were oppressed.   I feel like I have found that idea of sanctuary in truth, a firm foundation in knowing more about God’s character.  My sanctuary is God – He is my safe place and my refuge!           

Favorite Things

Okay so the past several days, I have been addicted to Spice Girls radio on Pandora because it plays all the 90's pop that takes me straight back to middle and high school!  I love this song and the video is really cute too!  So thought I would share!  Also thought I would share a list of my favorite things - because you know I love a list and I am in a really good mood!

1.  Brit is having a baby girl and naming her Daisy Claire after our Mamaw!!! I get kinda teary eyed just talking about it!  (Nothing new)
2.  We have had several places that are not typically known for their hospitality have been so very nice to us lately! Directv, Wal-Mart, Payless are among the companies that have taken care of us!
3.  The weather is perfect fall weather right now - a little chilly perfect for a cute sweater!
4.  God is teaching me so very much right now in Bible Study!
5.  I have a job that I love which is such a blessing especially when you know what its like not to have a job at all much less a job you love!

"Therefore, we exult in tribulation because we know that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.  And it is a hope that does not disappoint because it being poured out through the love of Jesus Christ." - Romans 5:3-5

I have held onto the promises in this verse for my life's breath for the past few years, and to see it come to fruition and feel that hope that does not disappoint leaves me completely awestruck!  

Have a blessed day!

Elizabeth Elliot and "I Got This"

Okay so this week has been insanely busy and crazy and hectic and it's only Tuesday, and I didn't get to do an accessories' Monday post.  I promise to make it up to you - well the two of you who read this!

I did want to share what I have learned lately!  First a little backstory - Candace and I went to a Bible Study that one of the ladies in our church does once a month.  This is serious stuff - homework and everything!  I must be honest - the nerd that I am was a little excited about the homework.  I like researching and getting into things on my own.  I have a theory that you truly can't "own" something until you have wrestled with it and gotten your hands dirty.  By owning something I just mean taking a little piece of information and studying it and forming your own opinions and your own response to this information.  So everyone was given a few words/phrases to look up and wrestle with, and then each of us were given a different Christian woman to "google."  I must admit that google is my obsession - you can find everything there!

So one of our phrases/ideas to study was the Sovereignty of God.  Now I am a nerd, but I will never understand completely every idea in the Bible.  However, that does not mean I am going to sit idly by and say it is too difficult.  Shelly gave us a list of verses that deal with what God is Sovereign over.  **This is a little free tidbit, sovereign means that God is "Most High" - most high over what you might ask.  Well... maybe you should google or ask Shelly for her favorite handouts!** Anyway one of the verses was Luke 12:6-7 which tells us that God holds that sparrows in flight and knows the number of hairs on our heads therefore we are not to fear because we are more valuable than sparrows.  (Love this) I like to call this little nugget and the idea of God's Sovereignty the "I GOT THIS" idea because I kind of feel like this is one of those messages that He knows I need sometimes.  I like plans, and I like to know the plans, and sometimes most of the time I like to make the plans especially if the plans pertain to me and my life.  So yeah that whole idea of surrender - I struggle with it. Front Street.  So I kind of have this scene in my head where I approach this male person with my plans as to how my life should go - to which He turns His head and tells me, "I got this!"  Every book I read plays out like a movie in my head so naturally this happens when I read the Bible, but when I read certain parts of the Bible I kind of take it into my life and language like a conversation between me and God.  It helps - try it.

The Christian lady I was assigned to google and get to know was Elizabeth Elliot - knew her story but not much else!  So I googled her and what pops up but a list of quotes - one of my favorite things!  And she obviously understood the "I got this" idea a little much better than me and was able to apply it practically to her life as her life is fascinating and tragic yet hopeful and joyful.  I thought I would leave you with a couple of her quotes ( I must say she is pretty high on my list right now)

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman."

"If my life is surrendered to God, all is well.  Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril but would be safer in mine." --"I Got This!"

discoveries

Tonight we had a great night at church with the youth.  Chad spoke just as he does every wednesday night - its really good so you should definitely come.  But that's really not the point because tonight Chad brought up something that completely astounded me.  We were talking about Jesus walking on water and Peter leaving the boat, walking on water, and "seeing the wind" at which time Peter began to sink.  I had never really thought about the fact that Jesus helped Peter up, and the two of them walked back to the boat side by side. (Thanks Chad)  Sometimes... okay most of the time, I get caught up in the constant reminder of just how imperfect I am.  I hate to fail, and yet failing is the one thing I never have to worry about being consistent at.  I do find hope in the fact that Peter, one of Jesus' disciples failed quite a bit in Scripture and still wrote part of what we consider Scripture and is still a major figure in Christian history.  Based on Peter's many examples, we can fail and get past it. Hello, rocking my little world right now.

The big deal to me was the getting back up and continuing side by side with Jesus.  Two reasons this rocked my world -
1. I tend to try to do everything without asking for help which is most often when I fail.  I have learned recently from experience that life is so much sweeter when you walk side by side with Jesus.  Accepting that I have fallen, I reach for His hand and ask that He lead me and "make my paths straight."(Psalm 3:5-6)
2. I love a good "phoenix" story - you know getting up after you have fallen and making something of yourself.  I also know that I have been there, there being flat on my face with nowhere to go but to God.  It was there that He met me with arms outstretched offering love and grace instead of hate and "I told you so."  It was also there that He picked me up and made something of me. In Isaiah 62, God calls His church Hepzhibah which means "my delight is in you."  I heard Him tell me that I am His (Is 43) and that He has me inscribed in the palm of His hand.(Is 49)

For most of my life, I heard people saying that God should be and can be your everything, that He loves you, wants you to love Him in return, desires relationship, and longs to woo you to Himself.  I also heard people say that to know Him you must know His character.  Which it sounds almost elementary to me now because "duh" you have to know someone to love them.  I began by simply saying that I wanted Him to be my everything.  I have believed in Jesus for a very long time, but never really understood what all of this really looked in my life.  I then asked Him to reveal Himself to me that I may know Him, and I began a Bible study designed specifically for that.  I wanted to fall in love with Jesus so I began to seek Him.  Can I tell you that I fell more in love everyday.  It was amazing to me that He really did pursue me and love me.  He is our Shepherd, our Lord, our El Shaddai - which is not just a slightly weird song.  El Shaddai literally means "motherly."  Nobody loves you like a mama except God because that is part of His character.  I get so excited when I think about this so I will stop now or I will write an even longer book.  (It's just awesome though!!!)  While we were at youth camp with the girls, I realized that I would rather have this life with Jesus than any amount of money or any job or any amount of security.  You can read more in depth about that discovery here.

All of this to say that how you live - your actions and reactions are choices.  You have the choice to be the victim type that never gets out of the water after sinking or you can reach for His hand, get up, and walk side by side with Him.  Also, you want to walk side by side with Him because He loves you unconditionally forever no matter what AMEN!  That peace that passes all understanding really does pass all understanding and comprehension.  It's difficult to explain - it's just something you know. 

a week in a day

So, this past week has been so incredibly busy that I feel like I have just caught up with the rest of the world.  It has been just crazy.  But I thought I would share some of the new things we have been working on here at A Daisy A Day!

The earrings(above) and necklace (below) are my personal favorites - 

Candace made them for me, and it will be difficult to part with them! :) 

This past Sunday was the one year anniversary of Mamaw's passing, and to honor her memory as well as to honor the strength of her daughter and our mother, we placed flowers in Mom's church last Sunday.  The flowers were a group effort - Me, Candace, Mom, and Mona (the owner of the Florist and our friend) all worked on it.  

  

Not only was she the most awesome Mamaw (she didn't like the word "Grandmother"), but she is also the namesake of the business.  We love daisies (the flower) because they remind us of her(Daisy was her name), and we want you to have a daisy a day because it is just cruel to keep her to ourselves.  So every piece of jewelry or accessory made has a little bit of her love, grace, kindness, and beauty woven into it.  

This week was also VBS for the youth and the kids.  Candace and I, along with the youth girls had the privilege of being taught by Mrs. Shelly Reid.  Can I tell you that Bible Study totally rocked my world?  It was   completely amazing - which learning more about God is something that continually astounds me but to learn under such a Godly, excited lady was such a blessing.  You can go to and follow her blog by clicking on her name above.  She is awesome, so go on over!

Well I hope you all have a great weekend and Fourth! Be Safe!