5.03.2010

i am back!

So I have not posted a blog in a while, so I thought I might catch you up on the goings-on around our world. First of all, my grandmother, Daisy Sharp, was admitted to the hospital this past Thursday because her sodium levels were low. We also learned that this very possibly is the beginning of the end for her. She is an amazing woman, and I can’t imagine my life without her. She is one of the pillars of our family, and definitely a pillar of strength for us. She has been one of the artists in molding my life and my person into who I am today. Needless to say this has been an extremely difficult past week or so.
To add to that, Candace and I came home Sunday after church and lunch with the parents to find the better part of a tree in our driveway. It was in our driveway because our wonderful neighbors cut it off our ROOF and put a tarp over the holes in the roof. Finally around 10:00 last night Candace goes out to the back porch and falls through one of the boards in the floor! She will have a nasty bruise on her leg for a while. We have been very blessed through all of this, but we are reaching the threshold for “good” news at this time. I know I have no right to complain, but there comes a time when you wonder just how much one can take.
So I have been thinking a little lately…
Sometimes I feel as though I really don’t fit in anywhere. Has anyone out there ever felt anything similar to this? It’s not a good feeling as I have always longed for a place that has a colie-shaped cut out waiting to be filled. There have been times in my life where I felt like I found a place, but these places have always been temporary. Perhaps that is a lesson – that there is not just one place for everyone, but several places that we fill at given times throughout our lives. If that’s case, then it has been a while since I have found the new place where I am to be. I feel as though I have been just floating around – like a butterfly flitting from one flower to the next or like the Israelites wandering in the desert for forty years. Please, dear God, don’t let my wandering period last forty years!
I know where I want my place to be. I was reminded of that not so long ago when I took part in the field experience portion of my MS Field Experience class. The main part of this class is to travel to Port Gibson, Natchez, and Vicksburg and everywhere in between to see areas in our state where real history took place. This is one thing that I get excited about, because history can be interesting if you think about the real people and places. History can come alive when it becomes more than just facts and figures and when you put real people and places with those facts and figures. That’s one of the reasons I want to teach – I want to make history interesting!
One of the places we visited was Longwood in Natchez, and it is an unfinished plantation home. The outside was pretty much complete, but the inside was never finished except the basement. The family lived in the 10,000 square foot basement while waiting on the war to end and the house to be completed. It hurt my heart that this house had such potential, and never reached that potential. The plans and the sheer magnitude of this house would have been amazing if it would have been finished. I never want it to be said that I had such potential and never reached my full potential or never did anything with it. I want to accomplish my goals, and I want to reach my potential. I don’t want my heart to hurt due to lack of activity.