silence

Well, the past few days have pretty quiet here on the blog.  I am finding I go through times where I have so much to say that I must write lest the words explode within me while there are times when I have no words.  Needless to say, but I believe we have a case of the latter going on right now.

I have been doing a bit of soul-searching the past few days - revisiting some issues within my own heart that I thought I had dealt with but can't seem to shake.   To be quite frank, I am somewhat frustrated with myself and with my life right now.  I feel like it is perhaps a God-given period of discontentment to push me towards the goals and life He has for me.  I am not even sure if that makes any sense to any of you, but that is where I am.

And, I think it is of vital importance to take stock sporadically of life and directions and goals - to take the time to realign yourself with that which you have made your center.  For me, my center, my focus is Christ and to be more like Him everyday.

One such issue I am working with that I was pointed out to me this morning at church is being more active in the community of believers.  I am never more comfortable than being alone, and don't misunderstand, I know that alone time is important.  It is my time to recharge - I am not naturally gifted with being around people 24/7.  However, my personality should not be an excuse not to engage in the community around me.  We were created for community - our very being is designed to do this thing called life with other people.

So that is one of a few puzzles I am addressing at the moment, and hopefully I might find a few answers for my questions in the coming days.  Until then I am embracing the silence so as not to disrupt it with empty words and phrases that disguise obstacles instead of illuminating resolution.

Until then,

words and moments

I heard someone say once that we too often waste our words, waste moments.  Yet again some little snippet that catches my attention, and I end up dwelling on it far longer than any normal person would or should.  But here I am and it has to come out, so here we go!  Here's your chance to keep reading or change or mind...

Now I don't think that there is some countdown of the words you use or a word allowance, but I do think that so often we don't say things that need to be said.  More often than that, I think we say the wrong things. Perhaps we use a stand-in replacement for words we are sure will hurt someone or for words that we are sure will come back to haunt us eventually even though the original words desperately need to be said.  I must tell you I have been guilty of both - probably in the same instance.  I am the stand-in girl - rather than say what I really want to say - I lie, sugar-coat, tell you what you want to hear, any of those old cliche's to keep you from really seeing me or knowing me or my thoughts.  Following these instances, of course, are those moments of instant regret because some of my closest friends may not REALLY know me at all while others see me as a snob.

Sorry I digress, the point of this is that I think we  I need to make a more conscious effort to make the words we do say worth something.  To not waste my words - to know that the words that proceed from my mouth inevitably come from my heart and those words, like actions, have consequences and carry with them responsibility.  Yes you read that correctly - words carry within them consequences and responsibility.  I found this little acronym that I want to use this year at school, and I think it fits here.

Before you speak, think -
T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring?
N - Is it necessary?
K - Is it kind?

That simple idea has really struck a chord with me - Maybe we have forgotten the moral of "Bambi" and say whatever we want even if it is not nice.  Maybe if we I take a moment for allowing those words to come out and think, then perhaps that is an effectual first step in not wasting my words.

The second part is that we waste moments - perhaps we don't take the moment to say those words or perhaps we don't waste the moment when words are simply not necessary.  Or just maybe you all too often find yourself sitting, watching moments pass you by scared to death that you will fail.  Once again - I think we - I need to be more aware of the moments throughout life.  We only have one life - too brief a time to spend it on auto-pilot.

So I suppose my lesson for today is just to be there - to be present in your life and to use your words to build people up not to tear down.

I hope you all have a great Sunday.  If you do not have a church home - come visit us at CrossPointe Community Church.