greatness

"When better is possible, good enough is unacceptable."

- Dr. Mark Taylor, Jones County Junior College

Dr. Taylor was the choir director for JCJC when I was in school there, and this quote was ingrained into our brains.  I am pretty sure it was even on our choir t-shirts.  As a 19 year-old kid sitting in a choir room with 70 plus other 19 year old kids, this statement pretty much rocked my world as much of my life I had just been good enough!  I was reminded of this saying this past Sunday during church - our pastor has been going through Judges on a mission to show us what not to do through seeing the cycle of disobedience.  I know you are thinking, Judges? Really?  But honestly, it has been a very insightful and life-changing series.  I think sometimes seeing others mistakes and cycles of bad decisions can help us recognize our own cycles and bad decisions.  So this Sunday we looked at the life of Samson, and one of the things that Samson was guilty of, that led to his demise was replacing something great for something good.  Samson was a Judge - a man chosen by God to deliver the people of Israel, and he threw it all away.

I know that I have been quite guilty of this especially recently.  I have been praying for God to lead me and guide me - to make my paths straight as to which direction my life should go.  Through Bible study and reading and searching, I felt God stirring my heart down a particular path.  Instead, I became greedy and hard-headed which just lead to disappointment and discouragement.  Oh how often I fail Him, how often I choose not to use this life to bring glory to Him.  It breaks my heart, because through all of my struggles and all of our trials I want this life to bring glory to God.  Sunday I was confronted with these failures and sins, and it is with a heavy heart and spirit that I beg forgiveness.  God gifted me with very specific talents and abilities, and I must take those to Him and allow Him to use them first.  I also must submit to His calling and plan instead of trying to make it my plan and my calling.

You may be wondering why in the world I would share this with all of you, but to be honest I am not exactly sure.  I feel like once it has been typed and published, it could serve as some accountability to stay on this path He has made straight.  It is so much like me to finally get what I had prayed and pleaded for and to dismiss it!!!  

"True Greatness is using your talents and abilities to bring glory to God (my paraphrase)."

- John Stockstill, CrossPointe Community Church

So perhaps I put these two statements together to make sense of these ramblings.  Better is possible, greatness is possible when I do not replace bringing glory to God with attempting to bring glory to myself.  I want so much to leave a mark on this world - I want people to look at my life and see that it was totally and completely dependent on God and that it was used to give a correct estimate of God!  

May your life be great!

Much Love,

Colie

fear

"I am afraid."  "I am scared to death."  "(Insert obscenity often screamed out when someone scares you!)"

These are phrases I must admit I hear come out of my own mouth more often that I would like.  Fear or uncertainty is one thing that has been a constant struggle for me for a very long time.  Many things frighten me - severe weather, not falling in love, taking chances, falling in love, the words - "we need to talk," cancer, failure, and the unknown - only to name a few.  As you can see fear is a big part of my life.  I don't think I have ever really liked the fact that I am so easily frightened, but I never really grasped that this might be a big deal to how my life goes and the story of my life for God.

Not until recently that is...

For the past 13ish weeks I have been working on a Bible study named How to Overcome Fear and Discouragement by Kay Arthur - a title I must admit that I really just read and let sink in.  The only thing that really interested me was that it covered the books of Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther.  The nerd in me adored the history involved in those books, but I never would have guessed that this study would penetrate to a level of a deep  stronghold in my life.

These books give a detailed account of the things the enemy will do to keep you afraid and discouraged.  Get this - the devil will go to some extreme lengths to keep you down and inactive.  Gossip, slander, physical threats - even spending money are all tactics.  Right along side of these accounts of the tactics are the detailed accounts of men and women standing confident in their God to do what He has "stirred in their heart" or "put in their heart" to do.  I have read 2 Timothy 1:7 many times, but after doing this study it has really come alive to me -

For God has not given us a  spirit of timidity but of power and love and discipline.

Isn't it amazing - God doesn't want us to be afraid.  He wants to have a spirit of power, love, and discipline.  Now I know that you are wondering where can this girl who has been so very fearful of everything under the sun find a spirit of power, love, and discipline.  Well, God gives us that spirit, and I must admit I am still processing how to receive that spirit on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis.  The past few days have been quite challenging for me on this end as things have not really went the way I want them to go.  In comes the second part of that title - discouragement.  If I am not afraid at the time, then chances are I am discouraged.  Discouragement is something I am so quite familiar with - we are practically family at this point.  That came to play the past few days as well.  I just love hearing that someone thinks I can't handle something, don't you?  But that is exactly how Satan wants us to feel - afraid to take that step of faith and that really we can't do what God expects us to do.    

Fear and discouragement can keep us sidelined - on the bench for too much of the game.  God has a plan and a purpose that He probably put into place decades before we were even thought of, and anytime spent on the bench is time that I and perhaps you are not bringing glory to God.  Now that just makes me angry - not sure if that is the case with you.  Anytime I feel like someone other than God is trying to control me and tell me I can't, I become much more determined to do exactly what it is that God has "put into my heart" and what the skeptics tell me I can't do.

So, I suppose this blog is a reminder for me of the things I have learned and a push to apply these truths in my life.  Each day I must claim the promise that God gives me a spirit of power and love and discipline.  I hope that you do the same, and that we bring glory to God with our lives.