be still

So this past weekend, my family and I were having a movie night and the selected picture was the new The Karate Kid with Will Smith’s son. I must say I was surprised by how good the movie was, but there was a surprising moment in the movie where I found myself seeing beyond the words and the movie. This particular part of the movie, the young Kung Fu novice is taken by the teacher to very spiritual place in the mountains where the young man happens upon a woman performing Kung Fu skills on a ledge with a cobra. This action catches the student’s eye because it was though the woman was mimicking the cobra, but when asked, the teacher responded that the snake was being manipulated by the woman’s focus and stillness. The student was astounded that the woman could control the snake by seemingly doing nothing to which the teacher responded that “to do nothing and to be still are two completely different things.” The teacher continued by saying that it was only when the woman was completely focused and still did the snake begin to follow her actions.



This may be a stretch for some of you but stay with me for the next few minutes because I kind of had an “AHA” moment during this portion of the movie. It occurred to me that this is just the focus I need in my life. Psalm 46:10a states, “be still and know that I am God..” Very recently, this verse has been on my mind more and more, but I fought with this idea of being still because I equated it with doing nothing. You know when you are younger and your parents say “be still” it means you better not even consider moving a muscle – that’s the picture I had in my head. As I have gotten older, I have developed this need to at least feel productive in some sort or fashion and being still seemed counter-productive. So, I had problems with this idea of being still. But “be still and know that I am God” is a command and one that had been on my mind a great deal recently so I face a dilemma.


Until during this movie about karate, somehow this scene made this verse make sense to me. Being still no longer meant doing nothing but comes from this intense focus and deep peace. It was not until the woman became completely still and focused did the cobra begin to mimic her movements. In my life of trying to be the woman God teaches me to be, I cannot make my movements match those of Christ without becoming completely still and deeply focused. This makes so much more sense to me – hence the “aha” moment. Does this make sense to anyone else? We must focus on God – you want things to change in your life you must focus on God.


I don’t know if this is an elementary thing for everyone else, and I am just a little slow but this is so encouraging to me. In my world, there is very little time to be still – we seem to be always going, something seems to always be going on, and some of the people in my life believe themselves to be the redneck version of the Barrymore family thus it is their mission to bring drama to our lives. So when everything is crazy which is every day, I adore this idea of having Someone to focus on and this Someone gives you peace that passes all understanding. I don’t know about you but even as I am writing this and putting these thoughts together, I am relieved. This relief comes from the second part of this verse – “know that I am God.” With that statement comes the knowledge that HE IS GOD! There is nothing bigger or better or more loving or more trustworthy! That is simply astounding to me.


Its as though God is comforting me saying, “Focus, have peace and remember who I AM!”

understanding

It seems to that recently I have been to the funeral home much more than usual which is quite a bit considering I work/live in a florist and funerals are an inevitable aspect of selling flowers.  I have been involved in the florist world for about two and half years and in doing so you become apt at distancing yourself from the painful aspects of a funeral and concentrate on producing the best arrangements you can.  However, all of this goes out the window when the call comes into the florist for someone you know and much more so when you were friends with the deceased.  I know this sounds so incredibly morbid and horribly cold, but if you dwell on where the majority of the flower arrangements go then you will become severely depressed. 

Anyways, back to the point of this blog - last week a very good friend of mine was killed in a work-related accident.  He was a year-to-the-date older than me which when he was dating my best friend in high school really irked me.  Hello, it was my birthday too!  Him, his brother Eric, me, my sisters, my best friend - Tosha, and her sisters made up much of the youth group, and in a way we became family.  Much of the time that we were not in school, we all spent together which led to just as much fighting and arguing as hugging.  So much of my high school experience is filled with memories of these people.  We were the type of friends that we could fight and argue one minute and be making up the next - but just like many other stories, time moved on, we grew up, went our seperate ways, and lost touch.   One fact that I must say I am sorry to admit because getting the phone call that he had been killed was very much like getting punched in the gut.  You always say that one day you are all going to get together again and catch up, and then something happens and getting all the group together is no longer possible. 

Its these kinds of things - when someone so young is taken from this world so unexpectedly - that I have a problem understanding and finding peace with.  I know in my head that no matter what God is good and has a plan; however, that's really difficult to come to tell my heart during these times.  It just does not make sense at all to me, and it really breaks my heart in a way that words that can't express.  Not only for that lost connection but my heart breaks for the family who are on the front line of this battle to find peace in the situation.

It is during these times that I must seek God's presence and completely rely on His strength because my own has never and will never hold up under the extreme pressure of dark days that threaten to take you under.  I find myself re-reading some of the same verses - some of which I will share with you.

"But He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefor, I will boast all the more gladly of weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  But in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

This is my most favorite time of year – the Christmas season. Anything seems possible. People often seem friendlier, the music sounds better, lights are brighter, and cookies are just right. Faith in something bigger than ourselves seems more of a reality than an outlandish idea, but I think we are seriously deprived if these things are only true after Thanksgiving. Why can’t we live with the same sense of joy and giving 365 days out of the year? I recently heard someone address a group of people about the Christmas season, and this person said, “I am not going to ask you to do anything difficult like taking all of your gifts to those less fortunate.” It struck me during this speech that isn’t that the complete opposite of what Christ asks of us – HE asks the difficult of us, to sacrifice our comfort out of compassion for others who might not be so fortunate. In fact it is more of a command than a request – if you are to call yourself one who looks like me, then deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow ME (Luke 9:23). If we do this, take the initiative to look like Christ, then we should, in my humble opinion, look and act as though it is Christmas all the time – we should be joyful and giving and confident in the person, power and purpose God has instilled in us who call Him Lord no matter the circumstances.


I am convinced we would be amazed at the results if we just got out of His way and started living like we really believe what we say we believe. I know that I cannot change anyone, but I can change me and pray for God’s power to change me and my attitude. I am sick of being apathetic and doing nothing. I believe it’s time to get off the bench and get in the game and to go big or go home. I tend to be passionate about the things that interest me, and somewhere along the way I have lost part of that. However, that ends now and WE MUST PUT EVERYTHING WE HAVE INTO THIS LIFE. After all, this is the only one we have, and I for one do not want to get to the end and regret not doing something. Failure is not failure if we learn a lesson while we are down and get back up and keep living; failure is falling and staying down. It’s time to get up and move on – a wiser , more joyful, more giving, and more Godly woman than before. You know life is hard and it’s not fair 99.99% of the time, but the people I admire most are those that have risen above the adversity and triumphed.

I don’t mean to sound preachy because this is as much to me to anyone else – I really see this as much of a vent session as a blog that I hope encourages someone else out there. In the hope of encouraging someone, I am including a small sampling of things that bring me joy!

1. My niece and nephew… particularly how my niece gets really excited when she sees me!

2. The way my parents still flirt and date after 30 years of marriage… sometimes it’s a tish awkward but such a great example.

3. My sisters – nobody and I mean nobody can irk one of us worse than one of us but loving them is not an option and I don’t have better friends than them.

4. Christmas lights on a cold night with some Bing Crosby playing in the background! 

5. Green things… Sorry I am not overly eco-friendly but I adore the color green!

6. Music… there is nothing else like it in the world.

7. Doing what God calls you to do and seeing Him work through you – there is no greater feeling in the world.

trees, life, history

So, I have this thing about trees - I love them, and I can't give just one reason for this love of trees.  There are really a great many reasons.  I guess first I should mention that it is just the idea of this amazing creation that is deeply rooted and then defies gravity to shoot into the sky.  Then there is the awesome color - there is something about green that makes me happy and feel alive.  I am sure there is some exact scientific explanation for why green makes me happy, but I simply like to refer to it as one of my happy colors.  The visual person that I am is so very inspired by beautiful and intriguing colors and shapes.  One of the things I love also is that trees are just as beautiful and interesting without the leaves.

See?

I love the lines of the branches and reach of the limbs that seem to stretch out and call out to you. 

Its not just the oak and pine trees, but Christmas trees are one of my favorite things about the Christmas season.  The smell of a real Christmas tree is absolutely amazing - I mean I could just walk up and down the live tree section at Lowe's all day.  It smells like Christmas, and Christmas does not really start to me until the Christmas tree is up and decorated.  

I have always had this thing about trees, and they have always been a big part of my life and what I notice about places I go.  In fact, one of the things that attracted me so much to the house we live in are the Crepe Myrtle trees in the backyard.  Anyways, I am obsessed with trees and history, and it occurred to me the other day that trees are witnesses to history.  There are some beautiful trees around my grandparents' and parents' houses and they have been there at least since my great-grandparents moved to Jones County in the early 1900's.  The trees were there when my great-grandparents built the original home-place and when my grandparents became their neighbors and when my parents built their home.

While working on my master's degree, one of the classes offered was a field experience that took you through some of the oldest places in South Mississippi.  The trees found in Natchez and Vicksburg and everywhere in between were amazingly old and covered in moss.  They  looked so old and beautiful and had been there since the days of the Civil War when the ladies in big ornate dresses lounged underneath the trees during the summer.  The idea of something, anything surviving the years to be around to tell a story of years gone by is wonderful to me. 

If you think about it, trees are a big part of history.  Laurel, the city I call home, was founded on the lumber industry.  Trees were cleared to build the cities in the South, and used to build homes, businesses, etc.  And for those of us who are Christians, there is one tree in particular that is of upmost importance.  As it was a tree that was used to form a cross on which the Savior of the world died so that we might have access to God.  Deeply rooted in love and defying death to stretch out and embrace the world so that all might be saved.



Thanksgiving Dinner

A few things you should know:
1. This past year has been quite difficult - and that is the cleaned up/nice version of what I really think about it!
2. I love the holidays - Thanksgiving and Christmas literally make me giddy like a little girl smiling at the cute boy two rows over!
3. Because of facts expressed in number one I believe that we should take this time to remember our blessings and to celebrate and to make the decision to be happy despite the circumstances!
Now that you know these things, I thought I would share with you some of the things Candace and I are cooking on Thursday!
Now these are not pictures of my actual food... I borrowed them from the wonderful invention known as google images.  I just wanted to give you a visualization as I am a visual person myself! SO short story long, enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Pie

Sweet Potato Casserole


Banana Pudding


7 Layer Salad


P.S. I found the recipe for Mamaw's banana pudding recipe - she layered the vanilla wafers, bananas, and then poured a homemade custard like substance over it that is other-worldly that it so good.

new home, new job, new me!

So, recently Candace and I moved from our house in Laurel to a house in Ellisville which happens to be attached to a florist owned and operated by two ladies I worked with previously.  Many of you are probably scratching your head wondering why in the world we would want to live in a florist, and please allow me to explain.

Not long ago, I was unemployed and we were struggling - I mean when I say it was hard times I am not exaggerating in the least.  At the point in my life, God had brought me pretty low - lower than I had ever been in my life and lower than I ever want to be again; however, the lessons I learned are priceless to me now.  Amidst the worst times, we had awesome family and friends who helped us without even knowing the extent of our troubles, and we were so very blessed and beyond grateful for these amazing people.  I prayed every night for the opportunity to be on the other side - to be the one who could help others.  During this time, my prayers changed from please let me have  the dream job with the dream paycheck to just let me please have a job that provided money to pay the bills and help people.  To be completely honest, at times it seemed like my prayers were hitting the ceiling and bouncing back.  But I had to hold to the verse in Romans - that says that tribulation brings about perseverance and perseverance produces character and character ends in hope and this hope does not disappoint.  Honestly, Candace and I have quoted that verse to each other through tears more times than I care to admit.  I had to hold onto the promise that God has a plan and a purpose for everything in our life.

Well, a few months ago a couple of friends of mine that I had worked with at a local florist opened their own florist in Ellisville, and they were thinking of moving to a new space that would allow much more creative freedom and space.  This space was a 3 bedroom/ 2 bath house with much more space than they could possibly use - they called me and asked me if I would like to move in.  The opportunity to move would get us out of our previous neighborhood, would lessen our financial burden as the rent is less than half of what we were paying, and all utilities would be divided in half.  I immediately thought of my prayer.  God had been refining and redefining who I am - no longer was I a teacher who happened to be a teacher but a child of God who was intently searching for His path and plan for me.  Moving into the florist allows us freedom to not be so tied to money.  It is really an amazing feeling. 

Not long after we moved in, I got a part time job at Laurel Christian School helping Candace in the afterschool program -which is another lesson in and of itself.  To truly appreciate this you have know that it is a job which is better than the alternative, second it is in a school system which gets my name in the system and a foot in the door, and third I believe it is part of the plan and evidence of God working in our lives.  The decision to move into the florist may not make sense to anybody else, but it works for us and if it is where God wants me then that is where I want to be.  I have been trying to get away from the florist industry and get a teaching job for a while, but it seems like it is part of the plan for me to be in the florist industry.  So I am embracing it - moving into the florist also provided office space for Always Love - my new project which is a wedding and event planning company that I have started.  I am really excited for everything God has in store for me.

the sun is shining!

Well, I have to post to tell you that I GOT A JOB! Can I tell you that I am so very excited?  I am working part time at Laurel Christian School in the afterschool program.  What, you may ask, is so great about this job?  Well, allow me to enlighten you - it is at a school which gets my name in the system.  You have to start somewhere, right?  It is a job - which is instantly better than the alternative (being unemployed!)  And it seems like the sun is shining on my life right now.  The first week, I met a young woman who needs tutoring - and hello, licensed teacher - I can tutor! I am beyond excited about this!  It seems like doors are opening where previously every door was shut in my face. 

For the past few weeks we in south MS have had some absolutely beautiful weather.  The sun is out, the temperature is cooler, and fall is here.  To be honest, it feels like God is smiling on me just a bit.  There are still struggles, but just feeling like I have been heard and someone is on my side is so reassuring.  During this time, our pastor has been going through the book of Romans on Sundays, and it is in this book that I have found the passage that has kept me going. 

Romans 5:3-5 states, " we exult in tribulation knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance proven character, and character brings about hope.  And hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit which was given to us."

At first the idea of rejoicing in tribulation made me think that surely the author had never experienced tribulation before, but after reading and studying the passage with our church, I have learned that we are supposed to experience tribulation.  We are to be like Christ, and we know that He experienced the greatest hardships during His life and death.  The tribulation we experience refines us, makes us stronger, and draws us closer to God as it is during the hard times that we must learn to lean on Him and His understanding.  The past few months, I have been leaning pretty heavily on God as He was my only hope.  There are many people who after coming out of trials, look back and are grateful for the trials.  I must admit I am not at that point completely yet.  I understand that I probably never would have learned the lessons without God allowing me to go through this, but at the same time, I wish I could have had a choice.  With all of that said, I am grateful for the lessons learned and for the fact that I know that I can withstand the trials and tribulations that come in life. 

I have been so encouraged lately, and I finally feel like things are changing.  I hope this encourages you!