truth, honesty, integrity

Every now and then, I get somewhat caught up in my own thoughts which would quite interesting if you could be in head and see the path that the thoughts take. Let’s just say that my thought process is a little off from everyone else’s, but that’s okay. So anyways, most of these thoughts are reflective thoughts – what I would change if I could, what haunts my memories, and the very few times when I say and do exactly what I mean to say and do. It is in these times of reflection that I am most often caught off guard and completely amazed by how awesome God is. Today I was called out on some of my crap. But not like someone pointing out flaws just to make you feel like crap, instead it was done in a “Godly” and kind manner. Now some of you may not be seeing the connection between being called out and God’s complete awesomeness, but bear with me, I am getting to that part.


The completely awesome part was that my heart and my attitude were prepared for such an event. I have been studying the names of God through a wonderful Kay Arthur study called Lord, I Want To Know You that takes you through the names of God in order to learn about the character of God as each name depicts a specific character trait, and it is one of the best studies I have ever done. (Soap Box moment – I love Kay Arthur because it is an insanely effective mixture of truth and grace, studying the Word and difficult life-altering questions.) Off the soap box for now, but the past few days I have been learning about “Jehovah-rapha” which means God our Healer. This lesson opened me up to some of the things that needed healing in my heart and my life. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and there is a reason so many people never fully recover – they never admit they have a problem because it can be excruciating. But that is my process right now – admitting problem areas and receiving healing. And if admitting problems is difficult then receiving healing can be just as piercing because accepting healing means letting go of some of that pain a little more each day. It means looking and acting differently, it means releasing the crutch that has been the rationale behind every failure.

Being in this mindset means I was able to take the constructive criticism as just that and in the way it was meant – as a means of bringing it to my attention so that I can go about changing behavior. God has been doing wonders in my heart, and it is my prayer that you will be able to see all the changes. This will probably be the most difficult part as this is one of the areas I struggle with the most – letting people in enough to see -  me. I am in the process of accepting that healing for my broken heart and laying it down at Christ’s feet every day and not picking it up again. I want people to see me – the real me. The girl who is more tender-hearted than anyone really knows, who hates the idea of causing ANYONE real pain, the girl who doesn’t always feel beautiful, who never really feels like enough. I want you to see the girl who is most likely too smart for her own good, who genuinely loves to make people smile, and the girl who cares about and loves people more than I like to admit.

The meanness, the sarcasm, the attitude, all of it is my crutch – my front so that you won’t get close enough to hurt me. I suppose someone or something convinced me that I would never be enough so I decided to stop trying and built this wall that screamed I didn’t care what you thought so you wouldn’t get close enough to discover the truth. The truth is I want to love and be loved, I want to be enough, and I want to be somebody’s exception. This is me on front street with my heart wide open for all to see.

Cooking

Okay so its summer (if you couldn't tell by the MS heat) and all the fruits and vegetables are now in season and better than ever! Candace and I are trying to eat healthier foods in order to lose weight, so that means more of the delicious fruits and veggies!  Recently we came across a wonderful recipe by Rachel Ray on her show "30 Minute Meals."  We loved it so much that I thought I would share our version of her creation.

You will need:

1 lb or so chicken breast

(you can substitute anything from pork loin, shrimp, steak)

1 onion

1 bell pepper

2 stalks celery

2-3 cloves garlic

pinch of thyme

1 can Fire Roasted Tomatoes

2 Chipotle peppers in Adobo

1 tsp of Adobo sauce

1 Mexican Beer or 1 1/2 cup of chicken stock

Begin by tossing chicken in mixture of flour, salt, pepper, and paprika.  Brown chicken  in just enough Extra Virgin Olive Oil to cover bottom of pan. BTW you will need a large pot and meal is best if you cook everything in the same pot.  When chicken is brown, remove from pot.  Add a little more Olive Oil if needed and all veggies after chopping (onion, bell pepper, celery, garlic, and thyme).  Allow the veggies to sweat just until the onion is translucent.  Next add the beer/chicken stock, tomatoes, chipotle peppers, and adobo sauce. (Depending on the heat level desired, you can remove seeds from chipotle peppers as most of the heat is in the seeds.)  Let simmer until everything is heated through, and then enjoy.  We made some brown rice and put our tex mex "stoup" over the rice. 

I hope you all enjoy the recipe.  Try it  - its really amazing!  My Dad is really picky and he really liked it!

...But you excel them all

Papaw and Mamaw (Lester and Daisy Sharp)
So let me introduce you to my Mamaw - Daisy Sharp! She is my mother's mother, my father's mother-in-law, and our constant source of inspiration.  Almost a year ago she left this world, and our lives have never really been the same.  However, the trail she blazed during her 78 years is one that I go back to every day.  She, along with my Grandfather, were "green" before green was cool.  They reused and recycled almost everything they purchased.  They grew their own "organic" foods and canned or put extras in the freezer.  My grandmother made much of her and her children's clothing.  She crocheted, embroidered (by hand), and pretty much everything else you can think of.  I think she was the closest to the Proverbs 31 description of a Godly woman that I have ever met - a description she passed on to her daughter, my mother.  My mom and my Mamaw are the type of women that I aspire to be! 

27 She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

29 “Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 

--Proverbs 31:27-30

The Beaty Girls!

Not only is it the things that she did for herself and her family but how she did them - she was never without style, grace, love and a seemingly effortless self-control.  She was so cute and stylish in everything she did.  After Mamaw's passing, I became more aware of what I occupied my time with and my attitude.  I wanted and continue to want to make her proud and to leave as excellent legacy as she did.  Also, I love doing things that make me feel closer to her or remind me of her such as baking or cooking for a group of people or wearing clothes she made or wore.  Papaw asked us to look through Mamaw's clothes to see if there was anything that we could wear, and my mom, my sister, and my aunt all found a few things we could wear for Easter.  The dress I found was one that I had loved since I first saw her wear it and I must admit I had a moment when I tried it on and it fit me.  I wore that dress and felt like a million white daisies (Beaty Girls' equivalent to a million dollars!)! 



Also, I love doing things that share Mamaw with the world - I don't want to be greedy and keep all of the wonderful things she taught us to ourselves.  So when Candace (my sister) and I got the opportunity to make jewelry and accessories, we jumped on it.  We chose the name "A Daisy A Day" because just like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" then "A Daisy A Day" keeps sadness and bad fashion away. 

Also, Mamaw taught me how to do a simple crochet chain stitch, so I decided to take that a little further and learn how to make a flower.  Its something that when I get this flower down I can add to our accessories branch and something else that shares Mamaw with the world.

These are two of my favorite little flowers so far! There are more to come!