part one A
I suppose I should bring attention to the fact that this past Saturday I finished my educational career (so far) and graduated with a Masters of Education from William Carey University. It feels good and yet kind of weird to be finished with this step of my life. I have been in school for the better part of my entire life, and it had become my comfort zone. I am good at school, and I know I can succeed there. However, it is time to grow up and get the adult job and pay the adult bills. It is not as much fun as the movies make it seem to be, and to be honest, I am terrified by this. I have this terrible, illogical fear of failure. I think I sometimes sit on the bench because getting in the game means there is a possibility for failure. I push people away at times because letting them in means I could possibly fail, they would leave and I would be the one with the broken heart. In my head, it makes more sense just not to try because then it means I won't fail. This also means, should I continue down this path, I will never truly succeed at anything and I will never let anyone all the way in. This would be and is a very lonely and unfilled life. AND I am determined not to live like this anymore.
I will not be afraid to live! I will put myself in the game and I will let someone in. I will live a good story so that at the end of my life, I can look back with nostalgia and a little sadness knowing that I left all I had on the table and loved without looking back!
So I must say goodbye to part one of my life, but in turn I say a warm welcome to part two! I pray that Part two becomes even better than part one.