only hope

Have you ever heard the phrase, “my only hope is Jesus Christ,” and never really completely understood what it meant? To be perfectly honest, I think I have said this many times without fully grasping the meaning of the words or the concept that one’s only hope is Christ. I know that because we are a broken people, we must have Christ to redeem us. And in that sense He is our only hope. However, I am learning this concept first-hand through an extremely difficult journey. If you keep up with me at all, you know that I just completed a master’s degree at William Carey University, and I want to teach. Well after a few years of being told that is just not going to happen, I am at a crossroads in my life. I have no idea what I am going to do. I am unemployed, and with current economic realities being as they are, my world seems a little hopeless right now. I don’t know what else to do…

Except tie a knot in the rope that is the hope I have in Christ, and hold on! My only hope is that He will open a door. I, in my simple human sight, cannot envision even a window in which an opportunity will present itself. However, I know one thing for certain – that is Christ is my hope, my salvation, and my strength! And He has a plan. I pray that this trial will soon pass because I don’t know how much more I can take. I am so very embarrassed because I feel like I have not done something right or something is wrong with me that no one will give me a chance to teach. I see other people and the way God has blessed them, and I am so very happy for them while at the same time asking when do I just get a break. My dream is not to make tons of money – hello, I want to be a teacher. My dream is to touch some teenagers life, to let them know someone out there in that crazy world cares about them, and that the past is not something to be forgotten but is part of us and helps define us. I don’t understand why I am not teaching right now, and every rejection feels like a very personal “you’re just not good enough.” And it is killing me on the inside. It hurts. And I don’t understand it. But I MUST TRUST THAT THERE IS SOME SORT OF PLAN FOR ME! CHRIST IS MY ONLY HOPE!

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