burdens

Friday night, I was checking Facebook on my phone as I do most every night before I go to sleep, but Friday night was a little different.  First, I see so many of the youth from our church asking for prayer for a brother and sister who were involved in a horrific car accident.  I realized that I did not know the siblings, but my heart still broke for the family and for my kids in the youth that were facing the possible loss of a classmate.  My mind immediately took me to the day of my junior year in high school... come to think of it, it was the first week of October 2000 when one of my classmates passed in a car accident.  I remember being slightly lost and overwhelmed at the loss of someone I saw every day and had spoken to earlier in the day.  For as long as I can remember, sadness and loss touch me to my very core.

It is in times like these, that I want to question God's plan.  I know that He is good and that His goodness does not change due to my or anyone else's circumstances; however, at the same time I don't understand where tragic accidents, parents burying children, and children growing up without parents fit into that.  I really hate the idea of death taking people we love from us, and the injustice is increased as I know that death is not a villain I can defeat.  And in the midst of tragic loss, knowing that you will see them again if both of you are believers is not nearly the comfort it will be when your head stops hurting from crying and your senses return to you.  At the same time, know that there will be a time when your head stops hurting and your senses return to you.  It does get better.  God is good, and He is in control.

I do not personally know the McGill family, but I do know loss and I know God.  I have such a burden for the family and friends of this precious family, and they are in my prayers.  I pray ultimately for a miracle for Angelica and strength, comfort, and peace for her family and friends!

a girl and a unicorn

Okay so the past two weeks have been so very busy as it seems that everything is happening at the same time! But during this time, I found a little inspiration from two of my favorite shows - "Glee" and "The New Girl."  Last week's episode of Glee was titled "I Am Unicorn"! I won't give too much away because you need to watch it, but one of the characters gives the other one a pep talk which begins the phrase "you are a unicorn."  (Paraphrasing here)  I know what you are thinking, no one wants to be called a unicorn - it's a little weird, but hang with me for a minute.  This character goes on to say that a unicorn is something or someone with magic inside them that is not afraid to let it out as a unicorn without that one horn is just a horse like every other horse.  I think we all have something special or magic or whatever inside of us, but we are afraid for whatever reason to let the magic be seen.
Last night, we were watching "The New Girl" with Zooey Deschanel whom I absolutely adore.  Anyway, Zooey's character Jess is asked by her roommates to suppress who is she is in order to be a date for one of them to a wedding and make the ex jealous.  Now Jess is usually completely original and goofy, and the suppression only lasted a little while.  At the end of the show, Jess tells her roommates that she is and will be exactly who she is!  She let her magic and personality be seen - she is a unicorn.
So often, some sort of idea on television will strike a chord with me and I end up dwelling on these things. Just a little heads up, that is exactly what happened with this which will hopefully make sense to someone else out there!  I suppose my first thought was "would people see me as a unicorn" to which my initial response was no, and if no then why not.  After some searching, I think I may have something of an answer.  When I was in eighth grade, my favorite teacher told the class that we did not need to tell people how smart we are because then people will expect too much from you.  Now I don't know the context of why she said this, and I adore this teacher because most of the things she said still have a profoundly positive effect on me today.  However, I think this may have had a profoundly negative effect on the girl I was in eighth grade.  I think this along with many insecurities and the hostile environment known as middle and high school began a long process of suppressing who I really am. I am a nerd, school always came easy to me - I like to study and find out new things and I like to share what I find.  Not in a snobby, i-know-this-and-you-don't kind of way but I-know-this-and-you-should-to way!  So for someone to say that I needed to keep this in sent a powerful message to me at a young age, but as I have grown up and become more aware of the person God made me to be, my ideal has changed.
I believe that God made us all unique with a specific purpose to fulfill.  I also believe that we all have some kind of magic or story inside of us that if we let it show makes us all  unicorns.  But we have let it out, don't keep it all in.  Be that unicorn and be proud of who God made you to be.  Don't keep the magic inside and be content to look like the cookie-cutter expectation that society throws at you!  I believe that the only people who have ever changed the world were unicorns in their own way - people with magic inside them that were not afraid to let it show! 

work, a wreath, and Madi

Okay, so the two pictures above are why Candace and I have been in hibernation the past week or so as we prepare for the Peanut Festival at Mitchell Farms.  Which is tomorrow by the way - you should all come!  Also this may look like a jumbled mess but it will look better tomorrow!  Anyways, this week at work has been hectic, full of unnecessary drama, and long hours.  Today I am doing this post before I normally get out of bed because I have to be at work early!  On the bright side, I get to show you this awesome wreath that was a joint effort between my mom, me, and candace!  The inspiration comes from a crafty blog that I adore and will link for you here!  It makes me smile as everything about fall makes me completely giddy!  Well, must go fix the second of many cups of coffee to come! Have a beautiful day!  Oh and one more thing - today is my Madi's "dirthday"! She is three and probably the most intelligent three year old I know! Happy Dirthday Madi!

Elizabeth Elliot and "I Got This"

Okay so this week has been insanely busy and crazy and hectic and it's only Tuesday, and I didn't get to do an accessories' Monday post.  I promise to make it up to you - well the two of you who read this!

I did want to share what I have learned lately!  First a little backstory - Candace and I went to a Bible Study that one of the ladies in our church does once a month.  This is serious stuff - homework and everything!  I must be honest - the nerd that I am was a little excited about the homework.  I like researching and getting into things on my own.  I have a theory that you truly can't "own" something until you have wrestled with it and gotten your hands dirty.  By owning something I just mean taking a little piece of information and studying it and forming your own opinions and your own response to this information.  So everyone was given a few words/phrases to look up and wrestle with, and then each of us were given a different Christian woman to "google."  I must admit that google is my obsession - you can find everything there!

So one of our phrases/ideas to study was the Sovereignty of God.  Now I am a nerd, but I will never understand completely every idea in the Bible.  However, that does not mean I am going to sit idly by and say it is too difficult.  Shelly gave us a list of verses that deal with what God is Sovereign over.  **This is a little free tidbit, sovereign means that God is "Most High" - most high over what you might ask.  Well... maybe you should google or ask Shelly for her favorite handouts!** Anyway one of the verses was Luke 12:6-7 which tells us that God holds that sparrows in flight and knows the number of hairs on our heads therefore we are not to fear because we are more valuable than sparrows.  (Love this) I like to call this little nugget and the idea of God's Sovereignty the "I GOT THIS" idea because I kind of feel like this is one of those messages that He knows I need sometimes.  I like plans, and I like to know the plans, and sometimes most of the time I like to make the plans especially if the plans pertain to me and my life.  So yeah that whole idea of surrender - I struggle with it. Front Street.  So I kind of have this scene in my head where I approach this male person with my plans as to how my life should go - to which He turns His head and tells me, "I got this!"  Every book I read plays out like a movie in my head so naturally this happens when I read the Bible, but when I read certain parts of the Bible I kind of take it into my life and language like a conversation between me and God.  It helps - try it.

The Christian lady I was assigned to google and get to know was Elizabeth Elliot - knew her story but not much else!  So I googled her and what pops up but a list of quotes - one of my favorite things!  And she obviously understood the "I got this" idea a little much better than me and was able to apply it practically to her life as her life is fascinating and tragic yet hopeful and joyful.  I thought I would leave you with a couple of her quotes ( I must say she is pretty high on my list right now)

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman."

"If my life is surrendered to God, all is well.  Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril but would be safer in mine." --"I Got This!"

9/11 & accessories monday

So yesterday was September 11th - the infamous ten year anniversary of the horrible attacks on America at NYC, the Pentagon, and the field in PA.  When I was a little girl, I remember my parents and grandparents talking about remembering where they were when they first heard of major events such as D-Day, Pearl Harbor, JFK assassination, etc.  I never really imagined having such an experience; however, I remember as though it were yesterday that I was sitting in first period Accelerated English my senior year in high school with Mrs. Dillard when Mrs. Parker came running in the room telling her to turn on the radio because something bad had happened.  I also remember watching the plane hit the second tower on the tv we rigged to work in Mrs. Taylor's German class.  I remember my heart hurting for the people that lost family in the tragic events, I remember being scared for my own family and friends, and I remember being to proud to be an American when I saw the heroism of the first responders, firefighters, paramedics, police officers, and ordinary citizens.

Yesterday on the tenth anniversary, I was incredibly sad at the sheer loss of life - somehow the numbers hit me in the gut to this day. This time, I also felt like I could relate a little to those who had lost loved ones.  I am not saying that I have in anyway the same experience, but I understand and empathize losing someone you love to circumstances beyond my control.  As I watched the coverage of the three memorial services, I missed my Mamaw more than I have in a long time.  That day ten years ago, I was scared but my personal security felt very much intact because I had everyone I loved and made me feel safe.  Today without my Mamaw, I felt a little less secure - she was part of the family fortitude that provided love, security, and safety.  Perhaps that is the tiniest smidge of what the families of the victims of the terrorist attacks ten years ago felt.  We are all united in pain, suffering, and loss as it is no respecter of persons small or great, rich or poor, young or old.

The sadness hits me at times, and then I take a look around at the family I still have around and all the blessings.  I can't complain because I am blessed beyond measure.  So I decided to lighten things around here, I would share with you the second installment of "accessories monday." 

Simple white tee and blue jeans w/ flower scarf, bow bobby pin, earrings, and sweater

Scarf - Clearance @ Cato

Earrings - A Daisy A Day

Bow Bobby Pin - A Daisy A Day

I think I get it from this lady!

Brown Blazer over Cami, White Skirt w/ red belt and red shoes! She is just so stylish!

a hide out

Ever since I could remember, I have loved just getting by myself and reading, listening to music, people watching, etc.  (Nothing creepy, I am just observant!) Getting away and being alone where I don't have to watch how I act or what I say or how I say what I say is how I refuel and become the pretty, kind person you see in public.  Finding these places that allow this refueling makes me happy and if it is outdoors that is even better!  So, I am slightly excited.  My Papaw built us a swing and it is the most beautiful thing ever! It's unfinished (no paint or anything) but I like it that way.  The swing is made from re-claimed wood and is very sturdy!  It's beautiful just because its from my Papaw and it's a little piece of him.  Mom and Dad had an old swing frame that has beautiful lines, and they were super sweet by transporting it from Papaw's house to our backyard.  As previously mentioned I adore the trees in our backyard.  In honor of the new swing, Candace and I hung twinkly lights in the Crepe Myrtle trees outside.  It created this perfect little hideout that is completely peaceful.  I have been wanting to sit out there and crochet - so tonight the weather was perfect, nothing else was going on, and I had the first of many relaxing sessions in the swing.  Though I must admit I had to grab a few pictures to document my special place.  Please don't mind the picture quality - I do my best, but I am no professional!

My own little HideOut! 

accessories monday

So I have been inspired recently by the wardrobe posts by a friend of mine.  She is always cute and classic. My personal style is more neutral and well a little boring to be honest.  A fact which I really would like to change - so perhaps I take a challenge to step outside of my comfort zone with my wardrobe and I will post some pictures so that you can follow along.  Until then, I will share something that inspires me - ACCESSORIES! I can plan an entire outfit around a single accessory that I like.  The fact that my sister is always making new jewelry and we make headbands often makes accessorizing my neutral wardrobe so much fun.
One of my favorite outfits is just a simple gray tee and khaki pants - with that base I feel like I can so much.  This day I added a crochet bow headband and round drop earrings.

So the first of my accessories/wardrobe post! Hope you enjoy!