My heart is broken tonight - the world and our personal church family has suffered a tragic loss today that has left me breathless. I cannot pretend to know exactly what the family is going through right now, and I know that these words won't do much but alleviate this need to get some of these thoughts out of my head. I have lost someone I love so on that end I can empathize to a point; however, to me, sudden, tragic circumstances seem to make the pain of losing someone so much more raw and excruciating. The events of today are pretty much my own worst fear as I am sure they are for most people.
To the family, I send my thoughts and prayers. I also wanted to share some of the things that I learned from experience, and I pray they are helpful. I don't promise to have all the answers - just to share something that means a great deal to me and will perhaps mean something to you.
You must know that it is okay to be angry and to be upset and to take as much time as you need to mourn - allow yourself to do that. Some people who are not perhaps as close to the situation will expect you to just bounce back (which is stupid) so surround yourself with people that are okay to cry with you and people who know when it is just best to be silent. Also know that the sadness and the pain is a darkness that you can and will wade into, but don't let it completely engulf you and don't go alone. Allow someone to be there with you and for you. Wade out into that darkness but remember you must fight to come back when it is time - something that is completely between you and God. When it is time, take joy in the good moments and memories, shared passions, and common dreams because you know she would insist you keep moving. There will most likely be moments when the pain comes so fast and hard that you might find it hard to breathe, and it is those moments that are the most difficult. I am sure that there are many other aspects singular to your experience that no one besides your immediate family will understand. It is only God who can heal wounds this deep, and He will be your comfort if you allow Him to be. Run to Him - He understands and He loves you and He is good even when our circumstances aren't.
To the family, I send my thoughts and prayers. I also wanted to share some of the things that I learned from experience, and I pray they are helpful. I don't promise to have all the answers - just to share something that means a great deal to me and will perhaps mean something to you.
You must know that it is okay to be angry and to be upset and to take as much time as you need to mourn - allow yourself to do that. Some people who are not perhaps as close to the situation will expect you to just bounce back (which is stupid) so surround yourself with people that are okay to cry with you and people who know when it is just best to be silent. Also know that the sadness and the pain is a darkness that you can and will wade into, but don't let it completely engulf you and don't go alone. Allow someone to be there with you and for you. Wade out into that darkness but remember you must fight to come back when it is time - something that is completely between you and God. When it is time, take joy in the good moments and memories, shared passions, and common dreams because you know she would insist you keep moving. There will most likely be moments when the pain comes so fast and hard that you might find it hard to breathe, and it is those moments that are the most difficult. I am sure that there are many other aspects singular to your experience that no one besides your immediate family will understand. It is only God who can heal wounds this deep, and He will be your comfort if you allow Him to be. Run to Him - He understands and He loves you and He is good even when our circumstances aren't.
"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Psalm 18:2
Finally, if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know, and once again, my prayers for comfort and strength are with all of the family!
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