We Learn and We Love

I am an inherently good student, and please don’t think this is me bragging because I have a point to this I promise. Anyway, school comes very natural to me, and I have never really had to study very much. My mom used to tell me that I could have been Valedictorian if I would have brought home a book during high school. Even when I got my masters, I could make A’s and B’s without reading the material. A fact which I know really aggravated one of my professors.

So when it came time to choose a major, I chose education and because I love history I made it Social Science Education. I was good at absorbing information, so I thought I would stick to what I know and become a teacher. After having several not so good history teachers, I decided I wanted to be the antithesis of the boring, memorize facts, lecture-note-test kind of teacher. That was so incredibly boring to me, and to this day I like to be challenged in my thinking. I would rather you disagree with me completely and have a good discussion than you just sit there and have no opinion whatsoever.

So even though I am a good student in a classroom when it means learning about someone else’s story, I am stubborn to a fault when it comes to learning a lesson in my own personal life. Recently, I have seen that God has had to somewhat knock the obstinacy out of me. If you don’t get anything else out of my ramblings, please get this – this lesson hurts and avoid if at all possible. Stubbornness can be a positive character trait when it leads to perseverance; however, when it means that you are holding onto the last fragments of control when everything around you including the Savior of the world is commanding you to let go, it is just an obnoxious quality.

So where does this leave me? I am back at the drawing board in a completely familiar posture learning several unfamiliar lessons. Let me explain what I mean by all of this. The familiar posture is that of a student – I am a student of God, seeking His presence and guidance in hope of finding my path. With two degrees in Social Science Education, you may be thinking that I already know my path. However, I am not so sure because with all logical thinking, I should be teaching now, but I am not. Perhaps, I am not supposed to be a teacher or perhaps I am not supposed to be a teacher right now or perhaps I have been looking in the wrong places. Nevertheless, you can see why I am seeking guidance.

BUT GOD has been teaching me so much more than that. (Another one of those “but God” moments) I have been reminded of just how sweet being in The Word is and how sweet His presence can be. One thing that I love about studying the Word of God is that it is challenging and intriguing to me. One thing that makes history so interesting to me is learning someone’s story and how things in the past relate to that person’s story. The Bible is so full and rich with relationships and people’s stories and how God intervenes in those stories.

I have been re-reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I once again blown away by how this simple idea of LOVE has completely rocked our world for the past two thousand years. Maybe I am just a little slow to comprehend some things or maybe I had gotten away from this need to truly know God and have a relationship with Him, but this idea of everything boiling down to love has really rocked my world. I had always heard that God wants a relationship with me and that He loves me, but hearing that and witnessing that are two completely different things. The motto or creed of our church is to love God and love people, and for a long time I thought it could not be really that simple. However, I am convinced that it is that simple. We love God by loving the very creation He died for, and in doing so, we become more and more like Him. In loving others, we draw closer to and fall more in love with Him. For me, being confronted with the kind of love He has for me even in my messed up, sinful, rebellious, confused, and just unattractive state makes it so much easier to look for good in my fellow messed up human beings and love them.

I hope these ramblings make some sense to you, and I will leave you with this –

“This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you.” ~ Romans 15:12-13

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