sweet summer time

Well the summer is coming to an end - a fact which makes me super sad!  In honor of the ending of summer I thought I would share with you some of my most favorite things from this summer!

1.  I am in love with this song and the band - both are just insane!  Check them out!


2.  The Farmer's Market in Laurel!  It's so great to get to know some of the local artisans and farmers and to get some fresh/homemade goodies!  Its been great!  And it proceeds the Downtown Movie Night which is free and family friendly!  I just love Laurel in the summer!

Photo courtesy of Laurel Main Street Facebook

3.  Hanging out with #littlegirl - even though she can drive me crazy like nobody else!  I have chronicled our adventures on Instagram!  This summer we also have had some good sister time with Brit - she is a super busy mom of 3 beautiful children so some quality Beaty girl sister time is rare but needed!

3.  I have been made the Preschool Coordinator at our church, and I am so excited about the things we are doing in our children's department this fall!  If you don't have a home church, come visit CrossPointe Church in Laurel!  In preparation, I have been reading this awesome book - you need to check it out!

4.  Reuniting with some old friends!  

5.  We took this summer off, and honestly it has been one of the best things ever!  It has been a great time to regroup and refocus!  I am so thankful for this summer and the breath of fresh air it has been!

I hope all you have had a great summer!

ghosts

Do you believe in ghosts?

Are you haunted by ghosts?

I do and I am.  While the idea of the spirit of someone who has passed really freaks me out, it is the idea of ghosts of my past that are the most frightening.  The ghosts of the person I used to be seems to haunt my reality - I am pretty sure there is more than one ghost.  The ghost of the young girl I was before I became a believer, the ghost of the timid wallflower I was during most of high school, and the ghost of the naive diva I became in college.

I was around four or five, quite young, when I became a believer so that particular ghost is not so much haunting as elusive.  That simple faith of my childhood that God would take care of everything is something I must search for and tap into on a daily basis.

The timid wallflower ghost seems to hit me square in the face anytime I step foot near my high school - yes it is just as bad as it sounds.  Its like I am possessed with the 16 year old version of myself anytime I turn in the parking lot and I try quite hard to blend into the seat of my car.  I was a substitute teacher there a few times when I moved home, and I had to remind myself not to look as scared as I felt because I was no longer that girl.

Most recently I have come face-to-face with the college version of myself, and for a brief moment, I found myself wanting to be that girl again.  Surrounded by great friends and family, successful in school, active in organizations, she was a devout optimist, confident in her abilities, and stubborn to a fault.  College was great, and I treasure those times, but the seconds were fleeting before I realized that this girl was un-tested and lacked depth.  Yes she had not experienced pain and struggles in any real way, but she also had never really experienced the strength of God's hand when you have nothing else to hold onto.

Even though it does make me sad that things have changed and that girl is a ghost, I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned when all of those things were stripped from my life.  I had placed my friends where only God should be, I relied on my own abilities rather than leaning on God, and during my junior and senior years, I was "too busy" to spend real time in the word.  Little by little, God took away those things so that He could restore my foundation and form me into the person who could withstand the winds and rains of testing and trials.  Now I am not saying that I have "arrived" by any means, but I at least feel that I am on the right road.  Sometimes it just takes a few ghosts to remind us where we have come from!

focus!

"21 You must not turn aside, for then you would go after futile things which can not profit or deliver, because they are futile. 22 For the Lord will not abandon His people on account of His great name, because the Lord has been pleased to make you a people for Himself. 23 Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you; but I will instruct you in the good and right way. 24 Only [i]fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you. 25 But if you still do wickedly, both you and your king will be swept away.”

I Samuel 12:21-25

Well you guessed it, I am a few weeks into a new study - this particular one begins with the period immediately following the period of Judges and continues through the life of David.  This particular passage is Samuel talking to Israel after they rejected God as their king and demanded a human king like every other nation.  The issue was not simply wanting or needing a king, but rejecting God as their king. You know I used to be quite the judgmental snob towards Israel, but the more I study the Old Testament and the more of this life I live, the more I relate to the people of Israel.  Which is typically the exact moment when I find myself acutely aware of both the grace God gives us each day and the need to submit to His authority in my life.

I think I identify so well with the Israelites because like them, I need these reminders "not to turn aside."  And then because I am that girl - I read scripture and then have this scene in my head.  This time, it's as though I am supposed to be listening to someone but I am distracted instead, and He snaps His fingers in front of my face and says, "focus!" Immediately I snap to attention as though He is the King and I am the lowly peasant.  He continues, "remember the Lord who is great and mighty, and remember what you are to be fighting for" (Nehemiah 4:14) because we must never forget, He is our King and this life is a fight!

It is so very simple to get distracted and to "turn aside."  Most of the time the distractions are not necessarily sinful things in and of themselves.  These activities become sinful when I place them where only God should be.  Still other times, it is not an activity at all, but an attitude towards things.  I begin working and desiring things instead of God - does that make sense?  The verse in Romans 12 that speaks of being transformed by the renewing of our minds means so much more in the light of this - so much of this battle is mental. We need grace everyday, and we need His word like we need physical nourishment - every day, three times a day sometimes.

I am immensely grateful and blessed that He does not abandon His people but gives us these "focus" reminders!  

balance

work and play

family and friends

career and family

God and man

We all have things we balance on a daily basis, and perhaps some are on the list above.  For some of us it seems a little less like an exercise in balance and more like a complicated session of juggling.  We feel as though we must allocate just the right amount of time and energy to the proper persons or activities, but Jesus told Martha in Luke 10 that only one thing is necessary.

 

38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

I am not saying that we are to be lazy or antisocial - notice that Jesus did not chastise Martha for serving.  We have responsibilities and are called to service, but I think sometimes we can get distracted by those that are not serving.  Often we look at the task at hand which at times can be quite daunting, and we begin shifting our eyes to the right and to the left to those who we think could help but aren't.  It is in moments like these that my attitude takes a turn for the foul, and it is all downhill at that point.  Then these verses come to mind - "you are worried about so many things, but only one thing is necessary."  I can hear my Mom and Dad telling me that "you can't worry about what everyone else is doing, you have do what God asks of you."  Another person's actions or inactive state is not the problem - the problem is my attitude which altered when my eyes were not on Jesus and my task.

Mary chose the good part, the one thing that was necessary - sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to His word.  During those times when my attitude needs serious adjustment, I must come back to that necessary part.  Just as we cannot adequately exercise our physical bodies without proper nourishment, we cannot adequately serve our church or our community without sitting at His feet listening to His word.  Sometimes we have to "be still and know that He is God." (Psalm 46:10)  That's a difficult one for me - the being still and knowing that He is God.  In my finite mind I feel as though I have to do everything if it is going to be completed and completed the way and at the time I want it to be.  However, that way of thinking is so very contrary to God and His character which leads to me being stubborn and arguing with God.  I must tell you that never really ends well for me - I just have to choose to let Him have it, to surrender my stubborn heart to Him.  What can I say - work in progress here!  These days I am learning the balance of the following list...

grace and truth

femininity and strength

being still and service

yes and no

food and exercise

thus far...

In 1 Samuel 7, the ark has been returned to the Israelites, the people have repented of their sins, and returned to God.  Upon their return, God defeats their enemy and Samuel places a stone called an Ebenezer as a reminder to the Israelites that "thus far the LORD has helped us."  (1 Sam. 7:12)  I love that it says "thus far" - not that the character of God would change, but it serves as a marker for the people of Israel.  Like the mile marker on the side of the highways, this marker indicates Israel's current position as well as how far they have come.  I think we all need these markers, moments or mementos that remind us where we are and where we have come from, as a place of reference to return to when we falter or when things do not seem to be going as we think they should.

The other thing that is so encouraging to me is that Ebenezer does not mean "thus far I have been perfect" or "thus far I have made it on my own."  No, it is "thus far the LORD has helped us."  The people of Israel failed, they stopped serving the God of their fathers, and they worshiped idols - images that they had created.  Stop before you say that they were crazy for bowing down to some statue - an idol can be anything you put where God should be in your life.  I don't know, maybe that doesn't leave the same punched in the gut feeling with you that it gives me.  Maybe you are perfect and have it all together - this is probably the wrong blog for you as I am nowhere near perfection.

I am so easily distracted which leads to just the slightest drift off course; the only problem with a slight drift is that the longer it goes unchecked, the further you are from where you are supposed to be.  The difference for Israel is that they returned and repented.  We all will have times when we miss the mark - it's what you do afterwards that counts.  Return to God with ALL of your heart and remove distractions, idols, anything that you have replaced God with - those are the instructions to Israel, and those are the instructions to all of us.  These are God's instructions to me.  Return.  Repent.  Have your Ebenezer moment.

"Thus far the Lord has helped us."  Ebenezer is not the completion of the journey.  "Thus far" denotes that we have not yet reached our destination.  From the beginning until now, God has been with us and helped us and provided for us - Ebenezer is simply the marker, reminder of the character of God so that we can deny the distractions and give every piece of our hearts to God on a day-to-day and moment-to-moment basis.

Some days, you just need to return and repent and look at the Ebenezer moments in your life.

Echoes

Sometimes it is the echoes of glory from a past triumph 

or the echoes of laughter and tears from good days that went by all to quickly.

While other times, it is the echoes of what might have been  - 

the what-ifs in life that lead to the very cusp of insanity.

Still other times, it  is the echoes of tragedy -

those instances when everything is still so real that it takes your breath away 

even months and years later.

We all have echoes - the left-over bits and pieces of moments from our life that can be haunting.  I think these snippets or echoes are always with us, but most often it is some outside stimulant that forces retrospection.  The smell of new crayons, the feel of a summer breeze, 90's music on the local radio station are just such stimulants for me!  

These moments of nostalgia or regret bring me to one simple conclusion - it is not just what you do that matters but how you do what do that is of equal importance.  I have been reminded lately that this life is much too short and moments much too precious to do anything half-heartedly or to live without integrity.  How you live matters.  What you do with your given amount of time matters.  Do not for one second think that how you live only affects you - there are people out there waiting for you to get off the bench and into the game.  But to get into the game, you first must let go of those echoes - even those that build the ego.  Nothing we undertake will neither change the past nor bring it back.  It is time to make new echoes - to scream at the top of your lungs, to finally join that gym, train for that 5k, go back to school, make new friends, or start a new career.  

Those people waiting for you to get in the game deserve the best you not some stand-in on auto-pilot.  Today - this instant - is all you are given so decide to make the effort now!

love and work

On Friday May 10th, our Uncle Allen Sharp left this world quite unexpectedly leaving a gaping hole in the fabric of our family.  The days following went by quickly, were filled with many faces asking for answers, and left us feeling achy, hazy.  I remember bits of pieces of those days...

To be quite frank, I have no great words of wisdom or answers to the questions we all feel after an event like this.  All I can tell you is that it sucks - probably the most difficult experience of my life.  I am pretty sure I went through all 7 steps of grief in the first five minutes and have continued to grow through them in each and every five minutes following.

So instead of some quaint offering that would only act as a band-aid for the pain, I thought I would share some of the lessons I learned from my Uncle Allen.

1.  Love - love your spouse, your family, and those friends who think they're family!  My uncle loved his wife - how many construction-type men do you know that willingly go shoe shopping with their wife just to spend time with them?  That's love in my book!  He was a man who was taught to do everything to the best of his ability, and that standard was not compartmentalized into work.  He was also insanely loyal and generous to his friends and family!

2.  Work - if you are able, you should work and work hard.  Like I said, no half-hearted, piss-poor job would satisfy him.  Do it right the first time - don't cut corners and take the simplified, coward's way out.  He had a low tolerance for ignorance also.  If you don't know how to do something, then ask someone who does!  Uncle Allen was the type of person who could do anything he set his mind to, and he could get almost anyone to do exactly what he wanted to do.  Candace and I joked about him being in the mafia - if you wanted something done, you went to Uncle Allen.

I know that is only two lessons, but I think those are the two things he did really well.  I also think that if we can strive to do those things well, then we will have lived a good life at the end.  I don't know why or pretend to understand why God chose that particular Friday, but I have to hold tight to what I know of God - that He is good, that He has a plan.  Even if parts of that plan make me angry.  Not so much angry with God, but angry that death exists at all.  Times like this make me long for God's promises of no more tears and no more death.

Finally, the lesson I learned more through his death than his life.  Life is fleeting, much too short to hold a grudge.  Those things that we were angry about on Thursday didn't really matter Friday morning and should not matter in the weeks and months  to follow.  Sometimes, I think tragic events can be the very thing needed to shake us from our stubborn complacency and help us see that now is the time to forgive.  You cannot do anything about yesterday, and tomorrow is not promised.  So love the people God has placed in your life and do the job He has entrusted you with today!