Confessions

So I am not exactly sure that I could live with zero contact from the outside world, but I am positive that I do require bits of time of that zero contact.  Yes ladies and gents, I think if you would google introvert you would find a picture of me (hopefully it is a good one!).  Couple that with coming from a long line of quite independent, strong minded women means that I consider myself not really needing anyone to help me with anything.  In fact, I become quite irritated with myself when I realize that I need someone.  For me needing someone means that they had come incredibly too close - a dangerous thought because they would inevitably fail, let me down.  And that would hurt.  Too much.

Until very recently, I was okay with keeping people at a distance and even prided myself on my independent nature.  Like I said, until recently that is.  It seems that with each new study and with each new introduction into the character of God, pieces of the facade and old nature are pinpointed so that they can be removed. The more I study and the more I learn, the more I see this independence to the point of isolation is actually quite a sinful attitude that I struggle with.  God created us for community - we are created to NEED people in our lives.  Punch.  In my stomach.  Okay... I am catching my breath.  Now I just love the way God works, and He obviously felt this was a lesson I had to hear as it has been a recurring theme in our series in church.  John, our "ninja pastor," even admitted to struggling with this at times.  It is quite ironic to me at this very moment that it helps to know I am not alone in this fight.

"Human beings are simply not designed to function in isolation" - from Multiply by Francis Chan and David Platt - a book we are reading through in our small groups at church.  The premise of the book is that if we call ourselves followers, believers, students of Christ, then we are to be "disciple makers."  You can't be a disciple maker if you are isolated as this process is something that happens through relationships with other believers.  Perhaps this hit me like a ton of bricks simply because I quite enjoy isolation at times or because I feel like God has called me to be a teacher, to share what He has taught me.  I think part of it is that I really want my life to mean something for Him - to be more than the sum of its parts, to be pleasing to Him.  

Now for the difficult part, which is not simply admitting it to a bunch of strangers or even friends.  The hard part is implementing changes demanded when I realize something separates me from God and makes it impossible to live a life pleasing to Him.  I am not completely sure what all this will entail, but I do know that it means opening my heart to the people around me, letting them in even if it does not end well.  That most certainly will be the hard part.

Are there others out there like me?  Do you struggle with letting people in?  I would love to hear from you!

weekend wrap-up

So sorry about the silence around here lately - Candace and I have started working out every morning at 5 a.m. which means we go to bed with the chickens.  Hence the blog silence because most of these are written between the hours of 10 p.m. and midnight.  I am working on beginning a new routine moving those late night jobs to early morning jobs!  So now that you are full of my excuses, I thought I would update you on this weekend - Easter weekend.  It was chopped full of so many good things - it is probably one of my favorite times of the year!

The first was on Good Friday and was called "Ascend the Hill" at our church - it is just amazing.  I am still speechless - such a creative way to pause and remember the sacrifice Christ made on the cross.  The event began in the Sanctuary with a beautiful skit based on this one from The Skit Guys and then moved outside to the property to a self-guided tour through the events of Good Friday - the garden, the trial, the scourging, the mocking, and the crucifixion.  Can I tell you it is probably the most moving event I have ever experienced?  You know there are quite a few times when our church does things that make me think I could not love it anymore than I do in that moment, and then we do something else completely unexpected and wonderful again - it's a never ending process for me.  I just love my church - if you don't have a church home, come visit CrossPointe!  

On Saturday, we all went to Mom and Dad's house for dying eggs, hunting of said eggs, decorating the bunny cake, hanging out the three coolest kids ever, and some sister time!    

                                                                             

last pic is courtesy of Candace

Of course Sunday was Easter, and I didn't get a single picture!  Suffice to say it was a beautiful, joyful, and exciting service at CrossPointe followed by lunch at Papaw's, round-table therapy, and front-porch sitting!  I am super blessed to be a part of this community of believers and part of an incredible family!  I hope you all had a blessed Easter Weekend!

Much Love, 

Colie

coffee and Bibles

Okay friends, well Candace and I have entered the crazy hectic haze that is known as the 2 months leading up to Christmas!  You know what I am talking about - you dig your heels in, put on your running shoes, attach the coffee I.V., and prepare not to breath until after New Years - we are almost to the I.V.

However, that is not the point of this pretty post!  I have to tell you a story - I know right, it's so exciting!  So, a few months ago I volunteered to lead a small group in our home for our church, and this particular group is geared towards the female of our species.  This particular small group is one I am pretty excited about which is why I was a little sad when no one came.  Then Shelly Reid, our Small Group Coordinator Extraordinaire, shared with me that statistically the small group that is the most difficult to establish is one for single women.  How crazy is that?  Then, because I am a nerd, I googled some statistics about small groups and found that people in America in general have become less social, even stating that active membership is local clubs and organizations has decreased by almost HALF! That seems a little crazy to me, and believe me, I know the importance of time at home and just with your family!

So I say all of that to let you know that I really, really, really want you to come to our small group or to a similar small group in your area.  However, I know that you probably don't care about the statistics but about the story so here it goes...

I became a believer at a very young age (5ish), but I was never really discipled.  People in my church and my parents encouraged me to study the Bible and to live a godly lifestyle; however, I really didn't know where to start or what a godly lifestyle looked like.  I mean I tried having a "quiet time," but that didn't really work for me because once again, what the heck is a "quiet time?"

Things changed for me when I was in college at Jones County Junior College.  The wife of the director of the Baptist Student Union asked me and a few other girls if we would like to be involved with a girl's Bible study in her home.  I tried it out, and it completely revolutionized my world.  Oh, it was like she gave me a key that opened so many doors in my world.

She taught us a way to study the Bible - she used studies written by Kay Arthur, and by learning more about Christ through the studies, I did not find simple answers but a place to find answers and a method to gather answers.  I also learned that I dislike quiet times and benefit best from an "un-quiet time" as I study best when the television is on and music is playing, and I learned a study method that provided, predominantly, direction mixed with some valuable insights into Scripture.

I must tell you it changed my life.  And it was not just the studies - the community I found in that group of girls is still one of my fondest memories from my entire college experience.  We laughed and cried together, we supported and challenged each other, and we prayed together and for each other.  We lived life together - we knew things about each other that no one else knew.  There is something so precious about gathering in a home with a cup of coffee and opening up the Scripture with people who are experiencing some of the very same struggles and joys as you are or who have already walked that path and can offer priceless, godly advice.

This is my prayer for our small group - that we experience that balance of garnering knowledge of our God and gleaning the many benefits of living this life in community with other believers!  And along the way I hope we laugh, cry, pray, discuss, agree, disagree and drink lots of coffee!

I pray to see you in small group this Wednesday at 6:30 at our apartment!!!