Okay so I have this recurring dream – well actually it’s more like two recurring dreams. In these dreams, I am either running from something very scary or running, trying to find someone or something that I love. The feelings are always the same when I wake up from these dreams – winded (big girls don’t run) and either relieved that it was a just a dream (the scary one) or saddened by the fact that I get almost to the person or the thing that I love and wake up. I never get to see a face in either scenario, but in both dreams I am always moving and always running and always searching. Now, I don’t know if these dreams are meant to tell me something; however, I do know that they sort of reflect my life right now… I am currently unemployed as the florist closed which is a long story that no one needs to hear, but I stay busy with my church and taking classes and spending time with my family and friends. I feel that I need to stay busy in order to feel useful and productive. With that said, the recent unemployment is driving me crazy. I don’t like the feeling of not being useful and productive. Which brings me to the real subject of today’s blog.
Psalm 46:10 states, “Cease striving (or be still) and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
I am not so good at being still, but that is what I believe is my mission right now. Can I tell you that scares me to death? I, literally, cannot afford to be still. I must have a job to pay bills and rent or Candace is going to kick me out on the street. (just kidding on the last part… I hope) I have really been praying about this and being the argumentative girl, I have been arguing with God about this. But every single time I go to Him with this concern, there are a few verses which are brought to my attention. The first is the one already mentioned. The second is a passage in Phillipians 4 where Paul says he can do all things through Christ’s strength which based on the context of the passage says that Paul can live with much or little. Also there is Paul’s faith that God will supply all of his needs. The third is Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your paths.” That has been one of my favorite passages for a long time as there have been many instances when God’s path has went outside my own understanding.
Let me just say that this fall there is a possibility of a teaching job, but there are months in between now and then. In the past, I would find a job just before the summer intending only to keep it until school starts; however, I would end up using the job as an excuse as to why I didn’t have time to go to the schools and aggressively pursue the teaching jobs. I don’t want to do that again, and I want to trust that God will provide. At the same time, I want to do my part, hold my own. I was taught to be fiercely independent and have been for a really long time. I like to do things for myself, and I am a big advocate for women earning their own money and not being totally dependent on their husbands. Sorry, bit of a jump to my soapbox and not relevant to me as I am single. Suffice to say that this being still thing is going to be incredibly difficult for yours truly.
BUT GOD (another one of those moments) will provide, and I am going to do my best at being still and knowing that He is God. I just want to be sure I am doing what He wants me to do. I will leave you with the first few verses in Psalm 46. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea: Though its water roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. “
Your world may be changing and waters are roaring and mountains quaking, but God is our refuge. A refuge is literally a safe place, a constant, something to hold on to. God is our strength so when you think you can’t hold on anymore, you can because it is His hand holding your up. A very present help in trouble – He is not the one standing back offering moral support, no He is there with his sleeves rolled up in the midst of the dirt, the tears, the fears, the heartbreaks, the worries, through this messed up thing called life with His arms stretched out ready to be your refuge and your strength.
4.09.2010
3.25.2010
my favorite things!
So I have been thinking that I have been extremely serious in this blog. Not that being serious is a bad thing necessarily; however, I just feel that I need a trip to the positive side where everything is rainbows and ponies and sunflowers! Okay so that was a little bit of velveeta, but you get the idea. Also since I am extremely fond of making lists, I have decided to make a list of my favorite things… enjoy!
BTW, this list is in no other order except the way they came to my slightly ADD and quite often extremely random thought process and in no way reflects the importance of each item! I suppose there should be bullet points instead of numbers, but I am too deep into it to worry about changing it now… I am just saying…
1. I love gerbera daisies… well any kind of daisies to be exact – especially white ones! Not sure if you’re aware of this, but daisies are the friendliest flowers, Meg Ryan says so in You’ve Got Mail!
2. Two words – Audrey Hepburn – she is the greatest actress of all time in my opinion! Two more words – Paul Newman – the man had the most amazing eyes and was an incredible actor.
3. Sunshine – the bright yellow stuff literally makes me smile on the inside!
4. My niece – her name is Madison, and she is the cutest thing ever! She is so smart and so funny – she makes me consider being a mom! (which is a big thing for me as 2 years working in daycare had me seriously considering adoption after the child turned 21)
5. The color green – I am not a tree hugging activist, but the color of grass and trees during the spring time makes me happy. It’s like that scene in the “Secret Garden” when the snow melts, the dreary brown is replaced by vibrant colors of the plants coming back to life!
6. My house – the place of sanctuary and retreat where I don’t have to see people if I so choose. It’s not fancy, but it is mine (and Candace’s but she is pretty cool sometimes)!
7. My family – George, Joyce, Candace, Brit, Jonathan, Madi, Wyatt (yes, ladies and gentleman, my sis and her hubby are introducing the first Stokley/Beaty boy – we have pretty much been a female dominated family until now) Lily (the dog), Mamaw, Papaw, all of my aunts and uncles and cousins (especially those cousins who are more like the brothers we three girls never had). You are all certifiably crazy, but you are my bunch of crazies. I love all of you so much.
8. My friends – all of you are family to me… especially when we can fight like two slightly pudgy girls over the last piece of cheesecake one minute and be completely fine the next. Some people are meant to be ensemble cast members that are in it from beginning to end while others are meant simply for guest appearances, and the core, the group – ya’ll are pretty much stuck with me!
9. God has blessed me a great deal especially when it comes to my church. If you didn’t get it in the last blog, I am not really like everyone else nor do I aspire to be, and that goes as far as my worship as well. I have found the most amazing church family that accepts me for me, encourages me to take off the “I’m-fine-don’t-get-too-close” mask, and expects me to be real no matter what that looks like. Crosspointe Community Church is a laid-back atmosphere that allows you to ask questions, take a closer look at God, people, yourself, and gives you the opportunity to experience life through a new perspective.
10. There can’t be an odd number, therefore there has to be a number 10. After serious reflection and consideration – I must add my Hello Kitty alarm clock, my Breakfast At Tiffany’s movie poster and script, coffee, World War II history, books, music, movies, flowers, soft sheets, the wind from the ocean blowing in my face, olive garden, and musicals even though by definition musicals are when characters randomly burst out into song!
Just so you know, the fact that I am nerd is not lost on me! I simply have adopted Rhett Butler’s final line in Gone With the Wind when I say that “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a (insert proper curse word here) when asked whether or not I care what people think of me. A side note here that is slightly humorous to me is the fact I felt it important to list movies as one of my favorite things when anyone with any sense would gather that little tid bit of information from the movie quote dropped in every other paragraph or so!
Well I hope this little trip that very well could have possibly taken place in a VW van smothered in peace signs makes you smile!
BTW, this list is in no other order except the way they came to my slightly ADD and quite often extremely random thought process and in no way reflects the importance of each item! I suppose there should be bullet points instead of numbers, but I am too deep into it to worry about changing it now… I am just saying…
1. I love gerbera daisies… well any kind of daisies to be exact – especially white ones! Not sure if you’re aware of this, but daisies are the friendliest flowers, Meg Ryan says so in You’ve Got Mail!
2. Two words – Audrey Hepburn – she is the greatest actress of all time in my opinion! Two more words – Paul Newman – the man had the most amazing eyes and was an incredible actor.
3. Sunshine – the bright yellow stuff literally makes me smile on the inside!
4. My niece – her name is Madison, and she is the cutest thing ever! She is so smart and so funny – she makes me consider being a mom! (which is a big thing for me as 2 years working in daycare had me seriously considering adoption after the child turned 21)
5. The color green – I am not a tree hugging activist, but the color of grass and trees during the spring time makes me happy. It’s like that scene in the “Secret Garden” when the snow melts, the dreary brown is replaced by vibrant colors of the plants coming back to life!
6. My house – the place of sanctuary and retreat where I don’t have to see people if I so choose. It’s not fancy, but it is mine (and Candace’s but she is pretty cool sometimes)!
7. My family – George, Joyce, Candace, Brit, Jonathan, Madi, Wyatt (yes, ladies and gentleman, my sis and her hubby are introducing the first Stokley/Beaty boy – we have pretty much been a female dominated family until now) Lily (the dog), Mamaw, Papaw, all of my aunts and uncles and cousins (especially those cousins who are more like the brothers we three girls never had). You are all certifiably crazy, but you are my bunch of crazies. I love all of you so much.
8. My friends – all of you are family to me… especially when we can fight like two slightly pudgy girls over the last piece of cheesecake one minute and be completely fine the next. Some people are meant to be ensemble cast members that are in it from beginning to end while others are meant simply for guest appearances, and the core, the group – ya’ll are pretty much stuck with me!
9. God has blessed me a great deal especially when it comes to my church. If you didn’t get it in the last blog, I am not really like everyone else nor do I aspire to be, and that goes as far as my worship as well. I have found the most amazing church family that accepts me for me, encourages me to take off the “I’m-fine-don’t-get-too-close” mask, and expects me to be real no matter what that looks like. Crosspointe Community Church is a laid-back atmosphere that allows you to ask questions, take a closer look at God, people, yourself, and gives you the opportunity to experience life through a new perspective.
10. There can’t be an odd number, therefore there has to be a number 10. After serious reflection and consideration – I must add my Hello Kitty alarm clock, my Breakfast At Tiffany’s movie poster and script, coffee, World War II history, books, music, movies, flowers, soft sheets, the wind from the ocean blowing in my face, olive garden, and musicals even though by definition musicals are when characters randomly burst out into song!
Just so you know, the fact that I am nerd is not lost on me! I simply have adopted Rhett Butler’s final line in Gone With the Wind when I say that “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a (insert proper curse word here) when asked whether or not I care what people think of me. A side note here that is slightly humorous to me is the fact I felt it important to list movies as one of my favorite things when anyone with any sense would gather that little tid bit of information from the movie quote dropped in every other paragraph or so!
Well I hope this little trip that very well could have possibly taken place in a VW van smothered in peace signs makes you smile!
3.20.2010
defying gravity
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s games
Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap.
It’s time to try defying gravity
I think I’ll try defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…
I’m through accepting limits
Cuz’ someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But til I try I’ll never know
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love – I guess I have lost
It comes at much too high a cost
I’d sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I’m defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…
“Defying Gravity” from Wicked
Defying gravity – the concept is simple really. It is making a choice to be exactly who you are called to be and having the hypothetical balls to stick by that choice despite the world and everything in it trying to tear you apart. You see “gravity” is going through life just like everyone else does, not swimming against the stream, going with the flow, and never questioning anything. Well, that is just not me. I went through much of my early life following the leader and being the girl who was more of a wall-flower than a leader. Then something clicked inside of me, and I realized that I was never happy doing that. I was born different, I am not like everyone else, and I could never go back to following – I had to be the leader.
You see when you defy gravity, you become a leader. Everyone else is too scared to get out their comfortable box; therefore, those who do step out of the box stand out in the crowd. That’s who I am called to be – I cannot and will not live by someone else’s rules nor will I look back on the rest of my life and say I did not do everything to live out the calling placed on my life.
I was never really good with limits – my parents never told me I could not accomplish my dreams or be whatever it was I wanted to be that particular day. (As a child I was always changing my mind, and that is something I never really grew out of.) When I wanted to go to college, my parents didn’t say that we didn’t have the money for me to go to college. (We didn’t have the money) They said let’s find a way. When I came home, and told my parents I wanted to be a history teacher, my parents did not tell me that position was typically held by male coaches and that I should consider other options. They said go for it and do your best. I have to tell the truth – I didn’t always do my personal best; however, I had a goal and a dream that I was moving towards. Then life happens, reality sets in, it’s difficult to find a history teacher’s position, and I go back to comparing me and my life to everyone else’s and allowing gravity to take a hold.
Now after some intense soul-searching, I have decided to once again defy gravity. I can’t be like everyone else. I have tried – it’s exhausting, pointless, and futile. At this point in my life, I am not sure I want to be a teacher anymore. You see it seems everyone I know is a teacher, and the rebel inside of me is screaming to do something different because that’s what I do. I am in the process of determining if teaching is really my dream or if it was what “was expected of me.” Here is what I do know:
1. I love social studies – history, government, geography, economics, sociology – (okay so sociology and economics are not exactly my favorite but I admit the nerd that I am loves the others!)
2. I love to teach – the sharing of information to people and it clicking is the most amazing feeling.
3. I find myself integrating some form of social studies into my everyday life – I know I am a nerd!
4. I am very passionate about education and kids getting the best one possible and teachers having the necessary resources to provide that.
5. I hate the fact that education seems to be first on the budget cutting list and first in line when handing out extreme pressure for teachers and students and administrators.
6. The politics and bureaucracy behind the scenes kind of give me mono.
7. However the thought of possibly having the same type of impact on students that my teachers had on me makes me like a giddy teenage girl crushed out on some cute guy.
You see, I want to be there for that girl or guy who is the wall-flower and who is afraid of being different. I want to be that teacher that pulls them out of their shell, gives them the confidence to be who they are, and the tools to figure out who that is. I want to be an educator - I think....
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s games
Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap.
It’s time to try defying gravity
I think I’ll try defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…
I’m through accepting limits
Cuz’ someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But til I try I’ll never know
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love – I guess I have lost
It comes at much too high a cost
I’d sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I’m defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…
“Defying Gravity” from Wicked
Defying gravity – the concept is simple really. It is making a choice to be exactly who you are called to be and having the hypothetical balls to stick by that choice despite the world and everything in it trying to tear you apart. You see “gravity” is going through life just like everyone else does, not swimming against the stream, going with the flow, and never questioning anything. Well, that is just not me. I went through much of my early life following the leader and being the girl who was more of a wall-flower than a leader. Then something clicked inside of me, and I realized that I was never happy doing that. I was born different, I am not like everyone else, and I could never go back to following – I had to be the leader.
You see when you defy gravity, you become a leader. Everyone else is too scared to get out their comfortable box; therefore, those who do step out of the box stand out in the crowd. That’s who I am called to be – I cannot and will not live by someone else’s rules nor will I look back on the rest of my life and say I did not do everything to live out the calling placed on my life.
I was never really good with limits – my parents never told me I could not accomplish my dreams or be whatever it was I wanted to be that particular day. (As a child I was always changing my mind, and that is something I never really grew out of.) When I wanted to go to college, my parents didn’t say that we didn’t have the money for me to go to college. (We didn’t have the money) They said let’s find a way. When I came home, and told my parents I wanted to be a history teacher, my parents did not tell me that position was typically held by male coaches and that I should consider other options. They said go for it and do your best. I have to tell the truth – I didn’t always do my personal best; however, I had a goal and a dream that I was moving towards. Then life happens, reality sets in, it’s difficult to find a history teacher’s position, and I go back to comparing me and my life to everyone else’s and allowing gravity to take a hold.
Now after some intense soul-searching, I have decided to once again defy gravity. I can’t be like everyone else. I have tried – it’s exhausting, pointless, and futile. At this point in my life, I am not sure I want to be a teacher anymore. You see it seems everyone I know is a teacher, and the rebel inside of me is screaming to do something different because that’s what I do. I am in the process of determining if teaching is really my dream or if it was what “was expected of me.” Here is what I do know:
1. I love social studies – history, government, geography, economics, sociology – (okay so sociology and economics are not exactly my favorite but I admit the nerd that I am loves the others!)
2. I love to teach – the sharing of information to people and it clicking is the most amazing feeling.
3. I find myself integrating some form of social studies into my everyday life – I know I am a nerd!
4. I am very passionate about education and kids getting the best one possible and teachers having the necessary resources to provide that.
5. I hate the fact that education seems to be first on the budget cutting list and first in line when handing out extreme pressure for teachers and students and administrators.
6. The politics and bureaucracy behind the scenes kind of give me mono.
7. However the thought of possibly having the same type of impact on students that my teachers had on me makes me like a giddy teenage girl crushed out on some cute guy.
You see, I want to be there for that girl or guy who is the wall-flower and who is afraid of being different. I want to be that teacher that pulls them out of their shell, gives them the confidence to be who they are, and the tools to figure out who that is. I want to be an educator - I think....
3.12.2010
sunshine
I just have to say I am so tired of winter right now. I am looking forward to sunshine and warmer temperatures, and I have been enjoying the past few days. Today is especially beautiful, but you might not have thought it was going to be if you were awake around 2 a.m. this morning. I do not like bad weather, thunder is not my friend, and I am not particularly fond of lightning. I woke up around 1:45 with all three going on outside my window which is just inches from head. Needless to say I was not a happy Colie. It was short-lived storm though, and I was soon back in bed trying to go back to sleep. And I wake up this morning to see the beginning of a beautiful day. (Or as close to the beginning of the day as I like to see as I am not an early morning person!)
All of this to say that I was reminded that the storms of life, the hard times are much like the thunderstorm last night. Short-lived in comparison to the rest of our lives, slightly scary, and definitely time to make sure all of the important stuff is taken care of. I would like to propose, that though our trials are difficult,and we would much rather not go through them at all, that it is only after the truly horrible storm that we are able to completely appreciate the beautiful day. Another way to think of it is the warm spring temperatures feel like a blessing just for you especially after the artic blast that decided to come south for the winter.
There are things in my life that are unsure and kinda scary right now. For example, MS is in its worst budget cut and teacher cut that it has experienced in years if ever. This is not exactly what you want to hear if you are about to finish a masters degree in social science education (or history teaching!)! I have been trying to be patient and wait for God's time, but can I just tell you that sometimes waiting sucks and is the most difficult thing at times. Somewhere in my make up is this need to contribute - to do my part in this world, and being still goes against everything within me.
BUT GOD has a plan. (My pastor is especially fond of "but God" moments in scripture - moments when it feels like all hope is lost and then God steps onto the scene and takes out the bad guys.)
This is one such moment in this little story. I know somewhere equally deep within my make up that God has a plan and a reason for all of this seemingly crappy circumstances. Also I know that whatever happens is to bring glory to God through my life. This perception is something that taken years for me to grasp because as I said my success equaled teaching and that equaled bringing glory to God. However, my ideas of success have changed and now I see success as my life bringing glory to God through whatever He allows me to do. Also I know that when I do find a teaching job, I will appreciate it so much more after going through this time.
I hope this encourages someone out there going through a slightly scary thunderstorm - storms end, the sun will shine again, and there is hope!
All of this to say that I was reminded that the storms of life, the hard times are much like the thunderstorm last night. Short-lived in comparison to the rest of our lives, slightly scary, and definitely time to make sure all of the important stuff is taken care of. I would like to propose, that though our trials are difficult,and we would much rather not go through them at all, that it is only after the truly horrible storm that we are able to completely appreciate the beautiful day. Another way to think of it is the warm spring temperatures feel like a blessing just for you especially after the artic blast that decided to come south for the winter.
There are things in my life that are unsure and kinda scary right now. For example, MS is in its worst budget cut and teacher cut that it has experienced in years if ever. This is not exactly what you want to hear if you are about to finish a masters degree in social science education (or history teaching!)! I have been trying to be patient and wait for God's time, but can I just tell you that sometimes waiting sucks and is the most difficult thing at times. Somewhere in my make up is this need to contribute - to do my part in this world, and being still goes against everything within me.
BUT GOD has a plan. (My pastor is especially fond of "but God" moments in scripture - moments when it feels like all hope is lost and then God steps onto the scene and takes out the bad guys.)
This is one such moment in this little story. I know somewhere equally deep within my make up that God has a plan and a reason for all of this seemingly crappy circumstances. Also I know that whatever happens is to bring glory to God through my life. This perception is something that taken years for me to grasp because as I said my success equaled teaching and that equaled bringing glory to God. However, my ideas of success have changed and now I see success as my life bringing glory to God through whatever He allows me to do. Also I know that when I do find a teaching job, I will appreciate it so much more after going through this time.
I hope this encourages someone out there going through a slightly scary thunderstorm - storms end, the sun will shine again, and there is hope!
2.26.2010
failure
Can I just tell you that I have already failed on this challenge that I have made for myself. I have not been exercising, eating right, or working on a Bible Study consistently. I have been so focused on myself and all of the other things going on in my life. For example, I put off doing a research paper for one of my classes until the last day, but I used the excuse I needed to be working on that paper for why I didn’t have time to do Bible Study. I am almost finished with my masters in social science education, and one of the classes I was in during the winter trimester required a 20-25 page paper. I waited until Monday morning at 11 a.m. to begin working on this paper, and I turned in a ten page paper at 10 p.m. Monday evening. The paper was not really bad per say, but definitely did not meet the length requirement. I passed the class, but I have failed at being the person I so desperately want to be. I am a failure…
However, I know this is not the end of the story, because chapters in your life end and new ones begin. The loser in one scene can be the heroine in the next. This is the beauty of the life with Christ – through Him, believers can be forgiven of their shortcomings and begin again. I am really simplifying this, but every day can be a chance to begin afresh and anew. People are going to fail, we are going to let people down, and we are going to royally mess things up every now and then. BUT that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. The question is not if you will fall, but if you, after falling, will have the strength and courage to rise and persevere.
I am determined to become healthier both spiritually and physically; therefore, I am getting up. I admit my failure, and I want to get up tomorrow and begin again. ;) I want to be the person that God has designed me to be.
With that said, I am faced with two possible paths at this moment. I have a degree in Social Science Ed and I am a licensed teacher; however, it has been extremely difficult to find a job around here. This year with the budget cuts, it will be even more difficult to find a job. (I am not saying that it is impossible because with God all things are possible. But less likely.) I also might have the opportunity to open a business in Ellisville with two other ladies that I currently work with at the florist. This could possibly mean opening a coffee shop in Ellisville which has been a dream of mine for a while now. BUT these are two very different dreams, and I don’t want to give up on the dream of teaching, but I am beginning to question if teaching is really my calling.
I am not really sure what I want to be when I grow up. The problem is that I am 26, and I am supposed to know these things by now. So I am praying and asking for guidance and direction, and I have to go back to scripture and believe God when He says,
“Trust in God with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all things, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths or make your paths straight.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
I have to believe Him because through all the things I have been through I have learned that He (Christ) is trustworthy. He does have a plan, He will provide, and His way is best. I am still working on the patience thing as that is one virtue I don’t possess at this time.
However, I know this is not the end of the story, because chapters in your life end and new ones begin. The loser in one scene can be the heroine in the next. This is the beauty of the life with Christ – through Him, believers can be forgiven of their shortcomings and begin again. I am really simplifying this, but every day can be a chance to begin afresh and anew. People are going to fail, we are going to let people down, and we are going to royally mess things up every now and then. BUT that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. The question is not if you will fall, but if you, after falling, will have the strength and courage to rise and persevere.
I am determined to become healthier both spiritually and physically; therefore, I am getting up. I admit my failure, and I want to get up tomorrow and begin again. ;) I want to be the person that God has designed me to be.
With that said, I am faced with two possible paths at this moment. I have a degree in Social Science Ed and I am a licensed teacher; however, it has been extremely difficult to find a job around here. This year with the budget cuts, it will be even more difficult to find a job. (I am not saying that it is impossible because with God all things are possible. But less likely.) I also might have the opportunity to open a business in Ellisville with two other ladies that I currently work with at the florist. This could possibly mean opening a coffee shop in Ellisville which has been a dream of mine for a while now. BUT these are two very different dreams, and I don’t want to give up on the dream of teaching, but I am beginning to question if teaching is really my calling.
I am not really sure what I want to be when I grow up. The problem is that I am 26, and I am supposed to know these things by now. So I am praying and asking for guidance and direction, and I have to go back to scripture and believe God when He says,
“Trust in God with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all things, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths or make your paths straight.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
I have to believe Him because through all the things I have been through I have learned that He (Christ) is trustworthy. He does have a plan, He will provide, and His way is best. I am still working on the patience thing as that is one virtue I don’t possess at this time.
2.17.2010
ideas
I think all art captures the beauty in a moment and evokes very powerful emotions.
Music – a great song transcends the words, the notes, and the writer and takes the listener immediately to a place, a moment in time. Whether it is the memory of immense joy or immeasurable pain, the song brings back memories that are so fresh you can still smell the scent of the moment. Music can be the one thing that reminds us of hope, that the darkness is not the answer or be the one place where we find peace.
Painting and Drawing - this one is almost self-explanatory. I suppose the art is found in the person behind the brush or pencil as they are the ones that must choose the moment to capture and put onto paper or is it that the moment chooses the artist? We may never know the answer; however, there is one thing we do know – a great painting can either transport you back in time to the moment portrayed or leave you wondering what was going on behind the scenes in the picture.
Photography – this is one my personal favorites because a great photograph brings beauty to what may seem to be an everyday moment. It’s that moment when the little girl standing in the field of sunflowers peaks up over a sunflower or the moment when the groom sees his bride for the first time on their wedding day or that moment when old friends reunite after a lengthy separation. The beauty is in the moment just waiting to be captured.
Floral design – okay this may not seem like an art that captures the beauty in a moment; however, I challenge you to really think about how flowers are used to say something in many aspects of life. The wedding bouquet is one of the first things a bride thinks about – what flowers capture the essence of the bride’s personality along with her idea of what she wants her wedding to be like. Then there is the arrangement of flowers that rest on the casket of the deceased – the flowers that are the last thing a family can to do to say “I love you” and to honor the memory of their loved one.
Acting – a great actor or actress allows the audience to forget that the actor is a character and not really the person they are portraying, and a great film is one that transports you to a different world and allows you to experience emotions as though you are the one going through the events on screen.
I know there are so many other forms of art, and I in no way wish to diminish the beauty they capture. I am simply limited to my knowledge of these various art-forms, and a very smart woman once told to me to write about what you know about.
I am blessed with friends who possess an enormous amount of talent, and they inspire me to look for the beauty in all the moments, to be creative whenever possible, and to dare to express the beauty that we all possess. You see every artist and every piece of art is unique, and this is what is celebrated – the beauty in the difference.
You know I have always been the girl that sort of marched to my own drum as long as no one else knew about it. I wanted to blend in as much as possible when I was younger, but on the inside there was a rebel dying to get out. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I despise this idea that we all have some sort of cookie cutter mold we are to fit into. For me it is the finish college, complete the MRS. Degree, have the 2.2 children, the house, the car, and stay in the same place for the rest of my life. Not sure if you have noticed, I don’t fit that mold so well.
That is not what I want – I want an apartment downtown somewhere, single for a little while (something I have done for a while and I think I have mastered it… ), kids at some point, a business that I love and challenges me and allows creative expression, to move somewhere for a while, and a man that is not expecting me to be cookie cutter and loves me because of all my eccentricities (be warned they are numerous )!
I want to be unique.
I want to capture the beauty in a moment and evoke very powerful emotions. Be it love or hate. Just decide and stick to it.
Music – a great song transcends the words, the notes, and the writer and takes the listener immediately to a place, a moment in time. Whether it is the memory of immense joy or immeasurable pain, the song brings back memories that are so fresh you can still smell the scent of the moment. Music can be the one thing that reminds us of hope, that the darkness is not the answer or be the one place where we find peace.
Painting and Drawing - this one is almost self-explanatory. I suppose the art is found in the person behind the brush or pencil as they are the ones that must choose the moment to capture and put onto paper or is it that the moment chooses the artist? We may never know the answer; however, there is one thing we do know – a great painting can either transport you back in time to the moment portrayed or leave you wondering what was going on behind the scenes in the picture.
Photography – this is one my personal favorites because a great photograph brings beauty to what may seem to be an everyday moment. It’s that moment when the little girl standing in the field of sunflowers peaks up over a sunflower or the moment when the groom sees his bride for the first time on their wedding day or that moment when old friends reunite after a lengthy separation. The beauty is in the moment just waiting to be captured.
Floral design – okay this may not seem like an art that captures the beauty in a moment; however, I challenge you to really think about how flowers are used to say something in many aspects of life. The wedding bouquet is one of the first things a bride thinks about – what flowers capture the essence of the bride’s personality along with her idea of what she wants her wedding to be like. Then there is the arrangement of flowers that rest on the casket of the deceased – the flowers that are the last thing a family can to do to say “I love you” and to honor the memory of their loved one.
Acting – a great actor or actress allows the audience to forget that the actor is a character and not really the person they are portraying, and a great film is one that transports you to a different world and allows you to experience emotions as though you are the one going through the events on screen.
I know there are so many other forms of art, and I in no way wish to diminish the beauty they capture. I am simply limited to my knowledge of these various art-forms, and a very smart woman once told to me to write about what you know about.
I am blessed with friends who possess an enormous amount of talent, and they inspire me to look for the beauty in all the moments, to be creative whenever possible, and to dare to express the beauty that we all possess. You see every artist and every piece of art is unique, and this is what is celebrated – the beauty in the difference.
You know I have always been the girl that sort of marched to my own drum as long as no one else knew about it. I wanted to blend in as much as possible when I was younger, but on the inside there was a rebel dying to get out. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I despise this idea that we all have some sort of cookie cutter mold we are to fit into. For me it is the finish college, complete the MRS. Degree, have the 2.2 children, the house, the car, and stay in the same place for the rest of my life. Not sure if you have noticed, I don’t fit that mold so well.
That is not what I want – I want an apartment downtown somewhere, single for a little while (something I have done for a while and I think I have mastered it… ), kids at some point, a business that I love and challenges me and allows creative expression, to move somewhere for a while, and a man that is not expecting me to be cookie cutter and loves me because of all my eccentricities (be warned they are numerous )!
I want to be unique.
I want to capture the beauty in a moment and evoke very powerful emotions. Be it love or hate. Just decide and stick to it.
2.06.2010
walls!
Some times people put up walls, not to keep people away. But to see who cares enough to tear those walls down. Sophia Bush as Brooke Davis This quote is from One Tree Hill, and it doesn't really matter if you like the show or if you really have no idea what One Tree Hill is. Really read the quote and think about it! I think this describes me perfectly.
I have been burned pretty badly, and can I tell you that I doubt everyone including myself. For the longest time, it was so difficult to trust anyone even my best friends and family and sometimes even God. I knew that He had a plan for me, but I just didn't know if my plan and His were the same. It took me a really long time to even realize that I had been so closed off - I would not let anyone past the surface. This is still a struggle for me.
I admit it - I have walls put up around my heart, and its pretty difficult to get in, really in. However, that doesn't mean I don't want people to try. I want someone to break down those walls! I am still working on letting people in. Its scary to let people in cause they might leave and it hurts so much when that happens!
After realizing that I was doing this to God, I really have begun to try to let myself open up to Him again. Doing Bible Studies, living out God's love to people, and trying to know Him more because I know that is the only way to trust Him.
But I am trying...
I have been burned pretty badly, and can I tell you that I doubt everyone including myself. For the longest time, it was so difficult to trust anyone even my best friends and family and sometimes even God. I knew that He had a plan for me, but I just didn't know if my plan and His were the same. It took me a really long time to even realize that I had been so closed off - I would not let anyone past the surface. This is still a struggle for me.
I admit it - I have walls put up around my heart, and its pretty difficult to get in, really in. However, that doesn't mean I don't want people to try. I want someone to break down those walls! I am still working on letting people in. Its scary to let people in cause they might leave and it hurts so much when that happens!
After realizing that I was doing this to God, I really have begun to try to let myself open up to Him again. Doing Bible Studies, living out God's love to people, and trying to know Him more because I know that is the only way to trust Him.
But I am trying...
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